Lord ﹠ Lady Darcy's Fight Club

Valenzuela: I arrive at the Darcy fight club ready for a bareknuckle bout with the owner, Lady fucking Nicola Darcy, she’s a big woman, but who isn’t big, compared to my 120 lbs, 5 ft 3 in body? Tonight, my fists are wrapped tightly with white gauze, and I wear some dynamite blue jean cutoffs, and colourful top in the Mexican flag design, not to mention some black boxing boots and a white gum shield.

Lady_Darcy: Backstage I am waiting to be called out to the ring ... At last, that Mexican strumpet Valenzuela has agreed to fight me in a No. 1 contenders match... at 5'4" tall and 170lbs weight I am only 1" taller than her but much bigger. I know she is fast on her feet, and she is fast with her fists, but when I land my haymaker punches on her chin... she'll be on her way back to Mexico City by an express flight!

Announcer: "Introducing first she is... La Princesa del Boxeo... standing 5'3", weighing in at 120lbs... here is... KARLA VALENZUELA!!!..."

Valenzuela: I now trot out to the ring quickly, shadow boxing my way down the short aisle. The fans are out big time, some booing some cheering, most wanting to see their sweetie, Darcy. But it does not matter, as I am here to fight and put this big puta down on the canvass where she belongs. I showed I'm my fight with Beckie Keegan that I can handle big women, and I'll do it again tonight!

Announcer: "And now please welcome her opponent in this No. 1 contenders match... she is your local favourite... the self-proclaimed... Busty British Bruiser... standing 5'4" tall and weighing in at 170lbs... here is... LADY... DARCY!!!..."

Lady_Darcy: I run out to the ring dressed in my blue bikini top and bottom, acknowledging the support of my fans as I jog past, my big tits and belly bouncing and wobbling as I jog ... I skip up the ring steps and duck into the ring between the middle and top rope... standing in my corner I hop from foot to foot, my voluptuous body wobbling as I bounce on my toes...

Valenzuela: As I stand in my corner, I watch this spectacle with a smirk, and a look of contempt that I can't hide. Mexicans are emotional, and it is difficult for us to hide are true feelings! The ref motions us to the ring centre, and goes through her instructions, some flop of a girl who I am sure is paid less than minimum wage, the same that Darcy pays me for refereeing her fights. But tonight, I will settle this, woman to woman, with my fists. The ref babbles on until she says bump fists if you care too. Well, I don't give a fuck so I simply back away to my corner, keeping my eyes on Darcy.

Lady_Darcy: The ref tells us to shake hands, well bump fists, I hold out my fists but... the uncouth little Mexican bitch blanks me and spins around and heads to her corner... I snort derisively with contempt and then turn and walk to my corner... waiting for the bell... the referee signals... DING!... DING!... DING!... and I skip out of my corner, my fists up in my southpaw guard, my body bouncing and wobbling as I dance my way to the centre of the ring...

Valenzuela: I take my time to come out, my uncle the matador and boxer taught me boxing is like bull fighting, you must not be where the bull thinks you are, or in this case where the big cow thinks you are, otherwise you get crushed. I form an orthodox stance, my left fist and foot leading and elbows tucked in. As I meet you in the ring centre, I start the smoke and mirrors, I weave left, then dart right, then lunge forward. I feint a jab at your nose, then feint a left hook at the side of your face, only to pull it back and try to slam a right uppercut between your fists towards your chin! I hear and feel my fist punch hard into your chin, really rocking your head, so the dumb cow falls for my feint.

I now try to swing a left hook into your jaw, thinking you are really rattled. Again, Darcy does not know what hit her, as I land a sweeping hook into her jaw, she seems bewildered by my speed, and I try to stay with it, to send a right cross at her right eye. But she leans back quick enough to make my punch fall short, so stepping forward, I change levels and try to uppercut her solar plexus with my left fist.

Lady_Darcy: I've seen you fight, and I knew you were fast, but you were like lightning fast... those fists flying, my defence was too slow and overwhelmed, I tried to dodge and feint but that uppercut really knocked me back on my heels and your left hook really clattered my jaw... I was totally out for a moment, my head lolling from side to side, I went backwards and got lucky as your right cross swished past my face and as I kept backpedalling your effort at a belly shot again missed... but I have taken a beating already, you may be small, but your fists are hard, and those punches hurt...

I skip away to my right side, circling, trying to get away from you to recover... Feeling a little better now I move forward, closing in on you, jabbing out with my right fist at your head... Crack, I get through your guard and smack you on the nose, I give you a smirk... the big, old, woman can hit hard can't she you Mexican bitch... have another one and I jab out again with my right at your head... Again, I land a hard punch on your nose, you seem a little bemused... maybe no one has ever hit you before?... Well, you are going to be hit a lot more before I am done with you...

Now to let you have a big one... I step in and wind up a left hook aimed at the side of your head, leaning my 170lbs into it, my big tits swaying wildly in my top... YEAH!!... I hiss as my left hook sends your head reeling to the side, you're stumbling, you look shocked... "Come on bitch!... Don't they know how to fight in Mexico?" I taunt at you...

Again, I come forward and jab out with my right fist at your head... Whoa... you ain't as dazed as I thought, you dodge your head away and my jab misses... I am momentarily open and to get the initiative back I whip a short-left hook at the side of your head... Shit!!... You duck and weave and my left hook misses, now I am really open and in trouble...

Valenzuela: My last two punches miss their target leaving me exposed, and BAM! That jab snaps into my cheek, rocking my head back, and I stumble a couple of steps, but Darcy presses her advantage, and BAM! Another right jab to my face, forcing me back another step! Just as I raise my guard back to chin level BAM! A big left fist hits the side of my jaw, twisting my face to the left. I feel woozy, my head spinning, but I avoid the next punches doing what I do best, slipping and weaving.

With your left hook flying over my head, I swing a big right uppercut in towards your chin! BAM! I feel the recoil up my arm as that one lands solid; Darcy must have felt that one rock her head. I retreat for a few moments, hoping that punch will slow her down long enough for me to recover my wits, as her blows to my head really rocked me. The fight pauses, as Darcy nurses her rocked head from that uppercut.

But I feel a little better and advance on her, feinting a jab at her nose... and then go for my real target, an overhand right at her temple, trying to land my punch over her guard. But she still raises her guard and so in frustration, with her guard raised high, I drop my left and try to launch an uppercut at the base of her massive right tit! It does not land with the power I wanted, as she scoots back a step, but it puts her on the defensive, which is what I want.

I try to swing a left hook into her right guard, trying to slap it away, so I can launch a right cross towards her right eye socket, wanting to really slow her down. Bingo! Yeh baby! Just what I wanted, and this bitch is gonna have a big shiner tomorrow, if not before this fight ends. The eye looks puffy, and I know that must have hurt.

I come in again with my left as I step left and try to punch a wicked hook into her jaw, hoping the puffy eye might have some blurred vision. I'm like on fire, and this fucking bitch is eating punch after punch! I feel a SURGE of adrenalin as I systematically take Lady Darcy apart, piece by bloody piece. A quick right cross towards her nose, hoping this power punch lands with force and starts some blood dripping. Yeh, I'm a bitch, but I don't give a fuck how bad I her hurt.

But she backs away and my cross hits only air.... but I ain't finished and step forward, trying a quick jab at Darcy's nose! Again, her head snaps back as my punch lands and from the corner of my eye, I see Lord Darcy watching with concern as his wife looks like she is in serious shit trouble! I want to keep the pressure on as she looks stunned, and feint another left jab at her nose, hoping she will pull her guard together tight in front of her face, so I can try a right hook around her fists, to target her ear... Yeah, the sound of my wrapped fist punching into her ear is sickening, even for my standards of brutality... she looks like she will lose her balance, so I snap out a right cross at her chin, hopping to really put her down for the count!

And there she goes, as my punch lands hard on her chin, her head snaps back, and her legs turn to jelly, and there she lands sprawled in front of me... that worthless ref now pushes me back to my corner, where I walk with my fists raised high.

Lady_Darcy: I collapse down onto my hands and knees on the canvas, my head hanging down, my brain swirling like a vortex, barely able to focus. How did it all go so wrong, I had been doing so well, I landed 3 hard hitting blows in a row, and I had you on your heels. But those fast movements of yours, your head bobbing and weaving, 2 missed punches and I was wide open. You landed a devastating uppercut, and my head pinged back and up, my high ponytail flailing wildly, my arms shooting upwards and outwards, my guard shattered. There was a moments respite and I got my guard together again and blocked your overarm right at my temple, but then you got nasty, going for my ample assets, attacking my tits, you really are a total bitch!

And from then on it was just a case of you pounding the heavy bag until I couldn’t stay on my feet… a right cross into my eye, badly bruising the socket, it swelled up so quickly… a left hook that clattered into my jaw, sending my head reeling to my right, a right cross that missed me… a chance, I wanted to hit you back, but you were moving so fast and your attack was relentless that I could never get my punch started before you were on me again… a hard jab hitting my nose, a hook that smacked brutally into my ear… I was out on my feet; you could have let me fall… but you wanted to put me down… and your right cross to my chin did the job… my legs buckled and down I fell onto my hands and knees.

So here I am, on my hands and knees, my head hanging down limply, my tits drooping down, my belly sagging and I can hear that dumbass referee I hired counting me!... 1… 2… 3… The sensible thing would be to stay down, but if I were sensible would I really have signed to fight a woman almost half my age… I try to get up…

I get a few inches off the canvas, but my legs can't hold me up and down I go again... I can hear the crowd yelling, imploring me to try again... and the referee drones on... 4... 5... 6... my eyes are fluttering, I am gasping for air... but I try again... Oh my god... I just can't do it, I've got so little left... but the crowd are in overdrive, hollering, yelling, squealing for me to get to my feet... 7... 8... 9...

One last try... one desperate hope... The crowd ERUPTS in a roaring cheer as I finally get to my feet on 9... but what can I do, my legs are swaying like I'm drunk, my eyes are half closed... the referee takes a moment to look me over... Not that the referee has any qualifications to make decision on my physical state, but they decide I can keep going and yell.... FIGHT ON...

Valenzuela: I give you a smirk, that says it all, as the ref motions me out of my corner, and I stand in front of you, again forming an orthodox stance, I begin bouncing on my feet, ready to try to overwhelm you with a flurry of punches, once the ref gives the go. She asks us if we are ready, and I nod, and then you do whatever it is you can now do with your punched up face. "FIGHT!!!!" she shouts. I begin to circle to my right, knowing that a wounded person can still be a danger, and you are so much bigger than me, but thank God I am faster. I keep circling right, then circle left as I want to approach you from your right side, with the puffy eye. I take a deep breath, then suddenly lunge forward.

I try to distract you with a left jab towards your face, then check the punch, and immediately send a right corkscrew punch at your solar plexus, wanting to try to stun you! It hits, maybe not as hard as I would have liked, as you moved back from it, but it lands. This give me the distraction I need, and I take a step forward to try to slice a jab through your guard at the right eye!

FUCK YEAH! The crowd erupts, many booing me because this is mostly your crowd, a handful of Mexicans cheering. I just snapped a jab into an already tender eye socket, and your head snaps back....and I see you wobbling on shaky legs... the ref pushes me back because, 1. she gets paid by you, and 2. it looks like you will collapse, YET AGAIN! I can't help but taunt "I thought you wanted a fight, Darcy! Or was that just a warm-up? I’m happy to knock you down a few more times till you get the message!"

Lady_Darcy: I was slow on my feet anyway and in my current state it is like I am wearing lead boots, my guard up to protect my head is no good as you slam a right corkscrew punch into my gut... Urrrgh... I grunt out loudly, dropping my guard... big mistake, but what can I do in my current shape... your left flashes out in a jab... straight into my swollen right eye... Owwwww... I let out a brutally pained squeal as my head snaps backwards... I stumble backwards, my legs wobbling, and I collapse down onto my fat ass... As I sit there, my head flopped down onto my chest I can hear the referee ordering you away... and you shouting taunts at me... "I thought you wanted a fight, Darcy! Or was that just a warm-up? I’m happy to knock you down a few more times till you get the message!"...

I look up at the referee plaintively as she starts to count... 1... 2... 3... but I stay down on my ass... trying to get my senses back... The referee keeps counting... 4... 5... 6... I take a deep breath and roll off my ass onto my hands and knees, the crowd are baying, imploring me to get up again... Standing over me the referee is about to administer the last rites... 7... 8... 9... but I make one, last, desperate effort, pushing hard on the canvas with my hands...

The crowd lets out a GASP of horror as I make it only halfway up before my legs give out and I collapse back down onto my hands and knees, my head drooping down... I'm beaten... the referee shouts... 10... OUT!!!... and waves her hands over me...

Valenzuela: I stand watching from my corner… a big smirk on my face… grinning as I realize you can't get back up!!! I bounce on my feet, fists raised in triumph, before leaning over Darcy with a mocking smile: "Oh, can't get up, huh? Thought you’d be giving me a challenge! But here you are, flat on your back like I barely broke a sweat. Guess I hit harder than you expected, huh, princess?" I step closer, crouching slightly, her voice dripping with sarcasm: "Come on, Darcy, I was just getting warmed up! Or are you done already? Maybe next time bring your crown—at least then you'd have something left to hold up… Looks like your royal highness isn’t fit for the ring after all! Better stick to whatever it is you do because this was a one-sided beatdown!"

Lady_Darcy: I look up at the Mexican bitch from the canvas, loathing and anger etched on my face, knowing that I have been soundly beaten, but thinking how much I would love to beat your cocky face to a pulp!

Published: 12 days ago, viewed 28 times.