Universal Wrestling Federation

Lord_Darcy: I look out through the curtain from the backstage area into the small arena and sniff loudly and think to myself. “So, this is the best that the Universal Wrestling Federation can offer huh? I should have known that any federation managed by that cheating, cheapskate, The Mangler, and his partner, Supergirl Elle, would be well below the level that I, Lord Darcy, would be accustomed to.” I shake my head in disbelief. “My wife, Lady Darcy, has already experienced the cheating tactics of Mangler and Elle, and I know that they are out to… get… the Darcy’s.” I sigh and adjust the waistband of my black trunks over my big gut. “And tonight, they have matched me against their… assassin… the ever dangerous and ruthless… Mrs Dei Squid… she may seem cute and sweet… but she’s one of the dirtiest fighters in the pro-wrestling game…” Suddenly I can hear the announcer calling the match.

Announcer: “The Universal Wrestling Federation proudly welcomes to its roster… hailing from London, England, standing 5’7” and weighing in at 240lbs, here is… LORRRDDD…. DARCCCYYYY!!!!...”

Lord_Darcy: I strut out into the arena, dressed in my black trunks, black and red mask, and black boots. I raise my arms into the air, showing off hefty, powerful, body; my big gut, my thick, powerful, legs, my broad shoulders and strong arms, ready to accept the cheers of the crowd. Instead, I receive a chorus of boo’s and jeers and, for a moment I stand there, shocked, but then sneer at the crowd and start to swagger arrogantly towards the ring, dismissively ignoring their jibes. I climb the ring steps and enter the ring between the middle and top ropes. Then make my way to the far corner of the ring, where I lean back against the ropes and sneer at the crowd as they boo. “Be quiet… PEASANTS!” I snarl at them.

Announcer: “And now please welcome his opponent tonight…”

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I hear the announcer intro you. then he starts and his opponent coming from Canada Mrs Dei I come walking out standing 5’6” 120 lbs in my blue by bikini. As I make my way to the ring looking to see if Lady Darcy is hiding in the crowd to try a sneak attack on me as I approach.

Lord_Darcy: I can see you scanning the crowd as you approach the ring and I can guess what you are thinking, or more precisely, who you are looking for. I smirk, knowing that I have someone watching my back, if I need them. You climb into the ring, and I walk out from my corner to the middle of the ring and hold out my hand to shake. “I am sure that we’ll both show the highest levels of sportsmanship for which we are both known” I say as I offer you my hand.

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I walk out to meet you and stick my hand out to shake yours thinking this is not how I saw the fight starting at all waiting for you to try some under hand tactic to get the advantage.

Lord_Darcy: As I take hold of your hand, I assess our differences, we’re similar in height, I am a little taller, but I am twice your weight, and probably half your speed. And then there is the question of who is the most devious and ruthless? As I grip your hand, I suspect that you are anticipating an underhand trick from me, and… you’d be right. Now I have a firm grip of your hand you can’t get away from me and your speed and agility won’t be so easy to use. I give you a smirk as you try to release your grip and I don’t release my grip but instead yank hard on your hand to pull you towards me and lunge forward, aiming a headbutt into your face…

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I feel you grip harder, and I watch as your head starts to move, and I smirk just before I spray green mist into your eyes at the same time as I kick you in the kneecap of your right leg. I know you won’t be expecting me to know the mist but my trip to Japan with my wife Suki paid off I learned lots in the underground.

Lord_Darcy: Arrrrgh!!!... I scream as the stinging green mist splashes through the eyeholes in my mask into my eyes... I let go of your hand and my hands come rushing up to cover my stinging eyes, as I turn away from you, you kick me in the right knee... Arrgh... I scream again as I stumble, my right leg now bent as I hobble away from you...

Lady_Darcy: "NOOOOO!!!"... (Points at Mrs Dei Squid as she sprays the mist)... "That's cheating ref!... DQ HER!!... DQ HER!!..."

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I turn and laugh at Lady there is no DQ here bitch I move behind Lord and walk up behind him kicking him as hard as I can in the back of the knee, I just kicked from the front then shove him towards the corner face first.

Lord_Darcy: I am still blinded from the mist when I feel you kick me in the back of my right knee and shove me forwards... Ufff... my fat gut and upper body slams into the corner turnbuckles and my arms flop over the top ropes... realizing you are probably just behind me I pull my right arm off the rope and fire my right elbow backwards at head height...

Lady_Darcy: I jump up onto the ring apron to yell at Mrs Dei. “Hey bitch!... You’re just a no-good… cheater… you come over here and I’ll slap that green shit out of your mouth once and for all bitch!!”

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I duck easily under your back elbow as I send an elbow into your kidneys from behind as I act like I’m ignoring Lady as she moves closer before I turn and try to clothesline her off of the apron of the ring.

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: That Darcy girl is cheating as usual, sit down tubby.

Lady_Darcy: Standing on the ring apron I notice you turn away from my husband in the corner and start running towards me, clearly intending to attack me with a clothesline. What have I done, nothing, except pointing out your cheating moves to the referee and here you are going to clothesline an innocent (and very cute I might add) member of the audience who is doing nothing but standing up for the rules… I will exercise my right to… self-defence! Waiting until you get close enough, I suddenly fall backwards while gripping the top rope with my hands, swinging one leg up over the middle rope and the other leg under the bottom rope into the ring. As your clothesline misses my head and you crash into the ropes my leg under the bottom rope goes behind your standing leg to trip you up and send you falling down onto the middle rope.

Lord_Darcy: I have been blinded by the mist and after you pushed me into the corner I threw a random back elbow at your head, but it hit nothing but air. I can hear a squealing noise from across the ring, my wife protesting about your illegal use of mist and then… uggg… you hit me in the back. I fall into the corner but don’t go down. Now seemingly alone I wipe my eyes with my hands, shake my head, and turn around. Through my blurred vision I can see you have gone after my wife, but she seems to have tripped you up and sent you down onto the middle rope. I immediately stumble across the ring, raising my big, thick, left leg and aiming to bring my knee and calf down on your back to choke you on the middle rope…

Mrs_Dei_Squid: As Lady trips me up in the rope you take advantage and come up behind me putting your big knee on my back choking me on the middle rope, I kick backwards with my foot hoping to hit you between the legs and make you back off so I can turn and face you.

Lady_Darcy: My work having been done I drop down off the ring apron onto the floor and pose for the crowd. Looking over at Suki I ask the obvious question, “I wonder where she got that green mist from eh?”

Lord_Darcy: Still seething after your attack with the mist I press down on your back with my knee in order to choke your throat on the middle rope. It’s clearly working as you kick your leg up behind you attempting try and hit me between my legs. But the attempt misses and instead kicks me in my fat ass making it shake and wobble. “Whoa… girlie… steady on there… what’s a matter?... You choking on that green mist in your mouth?” I gloat. I snort derisively and let go of the ropes, moving my knee off your back to release the rope choke. I reach down and grab hold of your hair, wrenching hard on your hair aiming to yank you up off the middle rope and toss you into the middle of the ring…

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I keep choking on the rope and my back kick misses your nuts and just hit your fat ass. Then I feel the pressure ease before my hair burns as you pull it and throw me to the middle of the ring.

Lord_Darcy: I hurl you off the ropes using your hair and send you down in the middle of the ring… I turn and follow you to the middle of the ring… “Spray me with mist would you bitch?” I snarl at you and then, as you start to try and get up, I aim a big stomp towards you, looking to send you back down onto the canvas…

Mrs_Dei_Squid: You stomp me back to the canvas I roll around on the mat turning all around and coming to my knees and one hand held up trying to keep you back from me as I see you approaching again.

Lord_Darcy: I knock you back down to the canvas and you roll away, up onto your knees, holding out your hand in a gesture for me to stay away from you... I look down at you and sneer... "Come on... GET UP and FIGHT!!"

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I stay kneeling as you approach me again as I’m on my knees in the middle of the ring looking small in front of you a little green mist still on my lips from where I sprayed you.

Lord_Darcy: Derisively I shake my head as you cower in front of me and then I reach down, and grab hold of your hair again... "Here... let me help you up!" I snarl as I start to pull on your hair...

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I scream as you grab my hair and start pulling me up my hand coming from in my bikini bottom with brass knuckles on and my hand punches up between your fat legs.

Lord_Darcy: As I haul you up from the canvas, I notice your hand going into your bikini bottoms... but too late I see you have some brass knuckles and.... URRRRGGHH... I let out an enormous grunt of pain as your fist flashes upwards, ramming the brass knuckles into my balls... I release your hair, and my arms and hands come down to clasp my balls as I double over in pain...

Mrs_Dei_Squid: As you double over in pain, I grab your head placing my head under your chin as I drop back to the floor trying to snap your chin down on top of my head

Lord_Darcy: As I double over in pain you grab my head and drop back down onto the canvas dropping my chin down onto your head with a jawbreaker... UFFF!.. my head recoils upwards from the impact and I start to stumble backwards on wobbly legs my arms now windmilling at my side...

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I quickly get back to my feet following after you as you stumble back, I try a quick kick at your mid-section hoping to bend you over with your belly and nuts both hurting you as I look to keep up the advantage know that I have it again

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: Way to go love!

Mrs_Dei_Squid: Ty love kisses!

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: Teach the limey a lesson.

Lord_Darcy: Dazed from your jawbreaker I stumble backwards, my legs wobbling and shaking, my arms windmilling at my side. You’re up quickly from the canvas and send a kick into my fat belly… UFFF… I grunt and double forward as your boot impacts into my gut.

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: Puts a bucket over Lady Dary's head so she can't interfere

Lady_Darcy: Headbutts Suki with the bucket!

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: Silly wabbit is too slow as Suki is off getting her Kendo stick to beat the Darcys.

Mrs_Dei_Squid: As you bend forward I run bouncing off of the ropes on the opposite side of ring from lady as I come off I jump in the air trying for a leg drop on the back of your head

Lord_Darcy: Doubled over I hear the thud, thud, thud of your feet pounding on the canvas, and then the creaking of the ropes as you bounce off them followed by the thud, thud, thud again and then, for a moment nothing, until your leg comes down on the back of my neck, driving my head down onto the canvas.

Lord_Darcy: As I lay face and belly down on the canvas, dazed from having my head driven into the canvas I moan and groan, but then plant my hands on the canvas to try and push myself up...

Mrs_Dei_Squid: My leg drop lands and drives you down to the mat but I see you trying to get back up to your feet already so I quickly move to try and get on top of you and try to hook on a sleeper hold to wear you down more

Lord_Darcy: As I try to get up from the canvas you drop down onto my back, squatting on my back to add extra weight to my efforts to get up, then you lock your arms around my head and neck in a sleeperhold. "Nuh... nuh... no..." I gasp as I start to feel myself slipping towards unconsciousness. Desperately I throw out my left arm towards the bottom rope, but my hand is short of the rope, I try to push myself with my legs towards the ropes... but I can't get close enough, my hand is still an inch from the rope... where is my wife... I need her to pull me towards the ropes... my senses are going from the sleeperhold... I am almost unconscious...

Mrs_Dei_Squid: My wife keeping yours distracted I squeeze harder on the sleeper as I feel your body getting weaker under me as I hope to put you to sleep and leave your lay in the middle of the ring embarrassed and defeated by a woman and a rival

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: Tieing the bootlaces together should do the trick as I make sure the better half of the Darcys can't get to the ring.

Lady_Darcy: Finally, I force the bucket off my head, and I can immediately see my husband in trouble in the ring. He’s down and almost out, and it is obviously up to me to put a stop to this match. I lunge towards the ring in order to get in and… ARRRRRRRR!!!... I trip and fall onto my ass at ringside… “WHATTTT!!!...” I squeal as I look down and see my bootlaces have been tied together!... 

Lord_Darcy: The room is getting darker, and darker, my breathing more and more difficult, I am not getting any help from my wife, I can’t reach the ropes… I make a final desperate effort to get up… planting my hands and pushing with everything I have left. It’s a major exertion, my own, not inconsiderable, weight plus the weight of Mrs Dei on my back, and you know, I think she’s been lying about her billed weight, she certainly now feels like much more of a porker than she claims to be! I push up to six inches off the canvas, but… it’s too much, sweat is pouring off me, my breathing erratic and laboured, and everything is so dark now… my arms buckle and I collapse back down onto the canvas on my fat belly, my eyes roll up and my body is now limp… out cold… unconscious from the sleeperhold…

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I’m getting worried as you start pushing up but sigh deeply as your body sags back down I keep the hold locked on till I know you’re out cold then I slowly release you and crawl over leaning through the rope taunting Lady your man is a sleep in the middle of the ring I stand back walk back over standing my foot on your back and raise my hands over my head.

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: applauds You did it love in spite of a lot of cheating from the Darcy clan. Fair and square in spite of their tricks. Looks like the female Darcy didn't know how to tie her shoes. snickers

Published: 2025-06-05, viewed 236 times.