Long Form Roleplayers

16:44 muaythaijay: Look at this photograph Every time I do, it makes me laugh How did our eyes get so red? And what the hell is on Joey's head? I’m humming along to the tune for about three bars before I stop myself with utter, abject fucking disgust. They are playing Nickelback in this fucking place. I momentarily feel a wave of nausea rising from my gut as I realize that this vapid, wretched wine bar is even more vapid and wretched than I expected. I look around – businessmen, Botox and Bollinger from wall to wall – and think this is REALLY not my kind of environment.

16:45 muaythaijay: This begs the question, though – where do you meet someone for a “date” when you’re working backwards from four intense, sweat-soaked hours of total pleasure in a garage two months ago? Usually on date one I’m looking for some hand-holding, some mild flirting, a kiss on the cheek and the glowing promise of exchanged telephone numbers and a follow-up – but when date zero was an intense, primal fight and some incredible dirty sex, how the fuck do you reverse engineer a conventional courtship?

16:45 muaythaijay: You know, maybe I’m overanalyzing it, but you’re fucking late and I’m feeling a little uncomfortable and out of place, propped up at the bar in my tight white trousers and figure-hugging short-sleeved blue gingham shirt – normally I’d get a kick out of letting everyone see my body and contemplate the potential for violence that it holds, but most of the folks here are sagging and bulging in the wrong places, a sea of spanx and implants, corporate cretins and champagne-chastised cougars… not my fucking people.

16:46 muaythaijay: This felt like an appropriately public and safe space for us both to meet. When you texted out of the blue last week about coming to town – the first contact we’d really made since back in February – I won’t lie, I shivered a bit with apprehension. Truth is I’d never stopped thinking about you, that intense night we shared and what we did together, and what we could potentially do to each other were we to meet again…. So, it was with equal parts excitement and fear that I picked this particular rung of hell for us to meet. I mean, fuck me, it had to be someplace well-lit and safe so you didn’t try to kick the shit out of me when we first laid eyes on each other again… plus apparently the hummus is nice, so I felt comfortable with the balance between potential assault and organic chickpeas, and I wonder if it's too late / Should I go back and try to graduate—motherfucker, I’m doing it again.

16:46 muaythaijay: I briefly consider taking one of the candles on the bar, dousing myself in vodka and self-immolating like the monk on the cover of the first RATM album, but instead eschew the sweet release of death, deciding to look at my watch and flutter my eyelashes at the Latina in her 30s behind the bar, who looks at me like I’ve just crawled out of the garbage disposal. Where the fuck are you?

00:35 Joanna_Louvier: Where the fuck are you? I’m going to be late… My brow furrows as I refresh the app again, looking around somewhat nervously as people come and go all around me, dragging suitcases and family members hither and yon, the occasional toddler or fat tourist nearly knocking me over as I continue to dodge foot traffic, while keeping my eyes locked to my phone, waiting for those four words. I’m standing, rather awkwardly, as I do, in the lobby of the Hilton Garden Inn where I’m staying, once again, “on travel for work.”

00:38 Joanna_Louvier: I am dressed somewhat casually, but, like, sexy… I want to show you how good I can look “without even really trying,” so I’m wearing my favorite high-waisted, slim fit light blue jeans, a pair of comfy white mules, and a flowy, long sleeve black blouse, which is covered in a very eye-catching print pattern of red and orange orchids. “Nature is a language,” I think the lyrics to myself, wondering if you’ll be able to read them…

00:39 Joanna_Louvier: Around my neck, I am wearing a discreet, simple silver choker. My hair is down, my face wreathed by my loose bangs, which would almost give me a tomboyish quality, except for the fact that I took the time to curl some ringlets into my long locks before leaving my room… maybe that’s why I’m late. I almost get bowled over again, this time by a rather rude little man wearing a bucket hat. Maybe I should sit down. Nowhere to sit… peak check-in hours, it seems.

00:41 Joanna_Louvier: I can’t help but notice the melodic, uptempo, and distinctly modern piano music playing in the background, over a set of hidden surround speakers. You would almost miss it under the din of chatter all around me. But I never miss music. And once I pick up a string of notes, everything else sort of fades into the background. More of a curse than a blessing, usually, but this little tune is quite refreshing. So here I am, tuning in to the music and tuning out the noise, taking full advantage of the “free” air conditioning on this unseasonably hot April day in fucking Dallas, TX as wait for my Uber.

00:42 Joanna_Louvier: Under normal circumstances, you couldn’t catch me dead in Texas, much less, fucking Dallas. I’m happy enough on either coast… but there’s nothing for me here. Well, except one thing… and here I am, late for our rendezvous. Fuck me! Finally, my phone vibrates, and I see the notification. “Your Uber is here.”

00:43 Joanna_Louvier: About two months after one of the most cataclysmic sexual encounters of my already fairly action-packed life, here I am again. Soon to be reunited with the man who picked me up at an underground boxing club and literally charmed the pants off of me… or rather, trunks. Initially, I had no intention of ever contacting you again, Jay, much less, coming all the way back here to see you again. But before I could really process what happened between us, my boss was coming to me with another opportunity to follow up on the “success” our team had on the initial trip, and… I found myself unable to stop thinking about you. About us. About what we started, and how much we left unresolved.

00:46 Joanna_Louvier: I’ve never been so viscerally attracted to, so enamored with, and so fucking pissed off at someone as I was in that moment when you swung that elbow at me. And yet, I know that you could sense in me that I wanted more than just a little light sparring. It’s not every day I meet a guy who is hot, smart, funny, knows how to fight, and is practically the exact same size as me. Of course, it was more than the sum of all of those things… there was this spark… not quite flirting… more of a pitched battle for dominance. You made me feel like an animal, and I fucking loved it.

00:48 Joanna_Louvier: I found myself wanting to decline the trip, but torturing myself with what if’s, just wanting to know if there was more to our first meeting than a few stray electrons. Could there be the potential for a deeper connection? Or… maybe just a casual booty call? Either way, as I hop into the black SUV that’s about to take me across town, I notice the butterflies. I always get a little excited when I’m in an unfamiliar city, but there’s more to this. I’m sure of it. I hover over your contact info on my phone… need to let you know I’m running late. Nervous to text… this is awkward. Ugh. Suck it up. “Hey, sry, I’m running late,” I check the trip calculator on the display on the back of the seat in front of me, “I’ll be there in 20 😅” I throw in the emoji, trying to be cute so you’ll forgive me.

00:50 Joanna_Louvier: After an excrutiatingly long 20 minutes of being trapped with my thoughts about where this evening could potentially lead, we finally arrive, and I thank the driver and hop out. Peering into the window of the bar, I zero in on you instantly—that shock of blonde hair, the long, athletic frame, the way you carry yourself, a mix of confidence and awkwardness as you sit at the bar… are you… flirting with the bartender? Of course you are. Well, that’s definitely you. Brushing my bangs to the side, I take one last deep breath before opening the door. I quickly gesture to the hostess that I am here to meet someone, before gliding between a couple tables, trying to see if I can reach you before you realize I’m here, steeling myself and trying not to seem excited… relax, Jo, it’s just a date…

16:22 muaythaijay: Thoughts of my charred corpse propping up the bar still not entirely having left my mind, I’m now doing that thing where I’m just gawking around feeling uncomfortable and looking for you to arrive, for something to break the awkward tedium. I feel a tiny rivulet of sweat wriggle its way down my back like a malevolent slug – something I wouldn’t normally notice but given my hypersensitive, amped-up state, I’m laser focused on how it feels.

16:22 muaythaijay: Why am I so uncomfortable right now? Professionally I’m used to being in bars like this all the time, part of the endless masque of client meetings and limp-hand-shaking, moneyed executives who want to talk to me about their kids and their church that I call “professional networking”, so it’s not that. Hell, I’ve even picked up in this place before, but I hated myself the next morning. No, this is weirder, I think it’s a heady mix of intimidation and some other unresolved, suppressed desire that I can’t quite put a handle on and is making me feel a bit like an acne-scarred teen on his prom date.

16:23 muaythaijay: Truth is I’ve been besieged by a plethora of what ifs since we fought. It all happened so quickly, so effortlessly and so primally that I think I’ve been struggling to process it all. I’ve had partners before, and fight partners, but never someone who met me with the intensity and sexual ferocity, male or female. If there’s such a thing as erotic PTSD, I’ve definitely got it, and I’m just contemplating even more banal thoughts like this, when all of a sudden it’s as if the sea of mediocrity in the bar parts and – fuck – there you are, looking strong, resplendent and downright fucking beautiful gliding past all the losers.

16:23 muaythaijay: I take a sharp intake of breath – huup – and get off the stool, a morass of possibilities clouding my head. I can see some heads turning already, men and women alike noticing the strength and self-assurance – projected or otherwise – in your gait, and I visualize saying nothing to you, only locking my lips with yours, wrestling with you on the bar and us devouring each other like two animals in front of all these people, showing them how two humans right at the top of their prospective food chains interact when they meet in the wild. It’s a scintillating thought, and I’m all for it – but at a crucial time the link between my frontal lobe and my muscles misfires, causing me instead to utter an awkward “hiiiii!” and offer up a polite peck on the cheek.

17:57 Joanna_Louvier: “Oh my God, Jay!!!” The words flow out of me unconsciously as I melt into you, my arms finding their way around your back for a brief, tentative hug, still, a bit more tender and familiar than I think I should feel with you. The solid musculature of your arms and torso reminding me what it was like to collide with you, blow after brutal blow, both of us nearly naked, then to wrap myself, fully naked, around your incredible body on that bench and just fuse with you into the sublime… I get all tingly as I try to push the memory down for a moment, so I can try to function and seem a little less like a cat in heat on our first actual date.

17:59 Joanna_Louvier: I feel your lips alight on my cheek, and it almost feels like a handshake. We fucked each other’s brains out two months ago… and now it feels like we are two strangers meeting up on a Hinge date. As intimately as we have previously been acquainted, I can’t avoid the fact that there is still so little that I know about you at this point. I pull back to about a foot away, taking in those pale blue eyes, that neatly trimmed beard, the charmingly roguish features that belie your ridiculous tendency towards self-deprecating humor…

18:01 Joanna_Louvier: Which itself is just a mask that hides the real Jay. The one I met in your garage. The competitive, aggressive, ruthless, heavy handed alpha striker who nearly laid me out cold… until I saw my opening, and capitalized on it. I wonder if the big man is kicking around in there somewhere, or if I’ll have to poke you a bit to bring him out. I wonder if you can be this charming man standing before me and the bad-boy berserker in the same breath… but then, is that even what I’m after? Is that good for me? Do I even want anything more than “casual” right now? In a split second, my mind throws something together to keep you busy, still trying to get a read on where your head is in this moment.

18:02 Joanna_Louvier: “Hello, handsome,” I chirp, lowering my voice to sound a little sexier, and flashing a flirty grin, “Sorry I’m late… How the fuck are you?” I begin to glance around, looking to pull up a chair at the bar next to you, or… “you didn’t happen to get a table…??” Yt
18:26 muaythaijay: I’m trying to get a read on you too, while working through all the stuff centrifuging round my head. I’m still perplexed as to why this is so… difficult… and then I think I get it. This is as far from the natural environment that you and I met in than you can possibly get – and it’s clear that for both of us the language of aggression, of intensity and, yes, of violence is more part of our basic vocabulary than… whatever this is, all dressed up and flirting in a bar?

18:26 muaythaijay: Flirting… well, that’s definitely a language I do understand, and the way you’re dressed, your smell, your posture… and, don’t think I didn’t notice, the effort you’ve put into styling that lovely long blonde hair of yours… all of the above makes this a very easy route to pursue. So I do.

18:26 muaythaijay: “I think I prefer being on the bar stools”, I offer, grinning. “And I’d be worried that you’d put me through a fucking table head first if we sat down”. I notice your reaction, and can’t resist adding “Plus, I want to see the full length of that fucking incredible body of yours, I won’t lie”.

21:23 Joanna_Louvier: I smile at your compliment as I settle onto the bar stool next to you, taking in the scenery and the clientele around us. This whole place is definitely not my vibe, even if I might look like I could be working behind the bar. Your joke about putting you through a table takes me off guard a bit, not quite knowing how to react, but eventually remembering how we started out, not too long ago, in another place that didn’t exactly feel like the right fit. You make a joke, I return fire. I comment, you riff on that and run with it. You send a verbal barb, I parry it back at you. Maybe if all of this goes well, we could start a podcast... Or maybe something bigger…

21:27 Joanna_Louvier: “Come on, darling, you know I’m not going to throw you through a table unless you take me out for a nice dinner first. I’m a lady, after all,” I say with a wink. I take in your scent… is that the same one you were wearing when we first met? What was it again? It reminded me of the trails I walked back in Virginia, growing up… That, and the promise of new kinds of adventures. “So…” I think to myself, wondering how to ease into the conversation… “anything you recommend I try here? What are you having?” I say, gesturing to the wine menu, hoping an innocuous topic will eventually lead us onto the right path… can’t go straight back into Muay Thai, after all… even if that is the only thing either of us are thinking about…

21:42 muaythaijay: Sheesh, your chat-up lines are awful, Jay is what I’m thinking of after opening my mouth there, also swearing a lot, which is a sure-fire sign that I’m nervous and looking to put a pin in whatever tension is building in a situation. Calm the jets, pal. So I do something I haven’t done in about two minutes, and that’s shut up, count a beat, and take in a loooong breath while I look at the menu with one eye and try not to look too hard at how the folds of your blouse hang off your frame when you sit down. I think I did a good job of hiding it, but frankly I’m starting to notice that you’re also feeling a bit awkward, which provides some cold comfort.

21:43 muaythaijay: I briefly consider making a bunch of inappropriate flirty puns around full-bodied wines but somehow manage to check myself - good, this is progress - and actually recommend something. “Well, it feels like a special occasion tonight so I ordered a glass of the Bollinger, maybe we should do a bottle?”. Starting to feel a little more relaxed now as the alcohol hits my muscles - I’ve pretty much drained the glass already, another real sign I’m feeling antsy - and enjoying the way the Edison lamp light from the bar hits your eyes. I can see you’re scanning the room, scanning me, questioning the awkwardness of the situation as well… so I just come out and say it, smiling: “Also… this is awkward, right?”

21:53 Joanna_Louvier: I sense your eyes grazing my blouse as you try to act natural. I might seem to be doing a better job of it, but depending on how perceptive you are, you can pick up on the slight unsteadiness of my otherwise smooth delivery. “Yes, I guess there’s no avoiding it, given everything that happened…” I trail off, not quite knowing how to finish that sentence. Still, I assess that I have the advantage, and naturally, I press… sliding my right hand over to your glass across the bar, pinching the stem lazily as my eyes climb up to yours, admiring you as you are admiring me… “Mind if I have a sip?”

21:59 muaythaijay: “Sip away” I reply as you take the glass, enjoying our first moment of intimacy as you move into my space, which awakens a myriad of sensory memories from our last encounter. I turn to the server and order a bottle of the champagne - and, yes, I’m still met with the same unaffected air of light disdain, but this time I smile smugly, knowing that my date tonight is sexier, sassier and stronger than any other woman or man in this bar. I turn back to you and just enjoy drinking in the spectacle of how you hold yourself, how you hold the glass, all those little tics that show how this environment and this setup is just as alien to you as it is me.

22:05 muaythaijay: I sense we’re both getting more comfortable in our uncomfortability, now the awkward opening dance is over. “Yeah it was… some evening, that’s for sure”. As our server plonks the bottle down beside us unceremonially - right, that’s 10% off your tip, lady - and starts pouring fresh glasses, I follow up with “Yeah, it feels like we started back to front, which is hilarious.” I smile - “I’m Jay by the way, nice to meet you. I’m 42, I work in Communications, I’m Scottish, I’m a Scorpio - and you look delectable tonight”. I cringe a bit inside, but I liked that one, although it makes me think of Eric Clapton, dreadful weddings and racist onstage rants

22:46 Joanna_Louvier: A Scorpio. Of course. That explains the games, the particularly prodding, aggressive style of flirting. The… whatever this date is… Not to mention, your tendency to sting, on occasion. The jokes provide cover for what you’re really doing… sizing me up. Well, I don’t like games, but I am always up for a little competition. And I wonder what treasures, or dangers, await me if I manage to plumb the depths behind those baby blues.

22:49 Joanna_Louvier: I taste the Bollinger… don’t hate it… and that’s about as far as my wine appraisal skills go. I gesture to the bartender as she pours, “thanks,” taking my glass and returning yours… “hmmm,” I take a sip before I respond, “Joanna—although I would hope you’d remember. You’re looking quite sharp in blue, Jay,” I pause, for applause… “I’m an Aries, and I’m currently in between professional MMA fights, while doing a bit of work in SEO optimization for an app development team to keep the lights on. By the way, I’ll be here for the next four days…” my eyes seem to wander off as I turn my head away, distracted by the familiar but awful music playing… the whining guitar of Eric Clapton coming in a bit too loud as the first bars of “Tears in Heaven” play on the system… “ugh, I’m sorry but I can’t fucking stand Clapton…”

22:54 muaythaijay: I snort with laughter, sending some of the expensive fizz right up my nostrils - nice one,stud, I laugh to myself. “Sorry”, I giggle, cleaning my nose with a paper napkin and noticing some gout-faced moneyed old guy tut disapprovingly at me at the bar.. “you clearly can’t take me anywhere”. “Also..” I add, “not only can I not stand Clapton, but I can’t really stand places like this”.

23:01 muaythaijay: “You know”, I add, leaning in a bit, “I figured I’d pick some anodyne, safe and well-lit place so we could at least start here, get comfortable and then maybe hit someplace a lot cooler on the next stop”. I lean in more, just the right distance from you to be flirty but not predatory, my olfactory apparatus going into overdrive as I smell what seems to be… yeah, patchouli notes, on your perfume. For one second I’m taken back to the student apartment, the smell of incense and exoticism that it brought me.. it’s delightful, and almost puts me off my stride unexpectedly as I offer up, in more hushed tones, “I can think of far better places that are more ‘us’ than here… and they don’t involve SEO, as important as that is”

23:15 Joanna_Louvier: I give the old man who chastised you a hateful look before thinking better of starting a a scene, especially in a tacky place like this… “I’m so glad you say that, because my hotel room is a fucking mess right now, not to mention, a suite, and I’m staying with two coworkers. So… thats not likely an option.” I turn my attention to the bottle, sitting mostly still full on the bar… “Of course, unless Texas has very lax open container laws, it looks like we are going to have to sit here for a minute or two to kill this bottle first.” I sense a noise of disapproval from the bartender… fuck you, self-hating snob… “So, how about we have a little chat to pass the time? I want to know… now that you’ve had the benefit of time and distance… do you ever think about our little match?” I pause again, trying to lock onto your eyes again after studying your body’s response to my direct approach, “because I do.”

23:24 muaythaijay: Lordy, let’s just ditch the bottle and go and fight in the parking lot then, I’m thinking, growing simultaneously more interested in our conversation and less in the dismal scene around us. Clapton’s at the fucking solo section now, I can’t help but think very strongly that, while it was a tragic shame that his poor son tumbled from a balcony to an untimely death, the ensuing pain, trauma and hurt that this sickening tribute has caused to lovers of good music in the years since has far outweighed any positive qualities that it perhaps once had…

23:26 muaythaijay: ”It’s a funny one”, I continue. “We have open carry here, open regulations, open season on folks who don’t look like or identify like you and me, but open container is a bridge too far”. I think for a minute about Texas before snapping out of it and meeting your gaze again - that strong, wilful gaze, the one that got me when we first met in that sweaty box of a room a couple of months ago.

23:27 muaythaijay: “Regarding our match…” I say, tentatively. “I’ve actually thought about nothing else.”

20:03 Joanna_Louvier: So it isn’t just me, then. I try to stifle the shot of adrenaline that hits my nerves when I hear you say those words. Everything in this wretched wine bar disappears, and pretty soon it’s just you and me, and these two barstools. I had set my expectations to zero, figuring I must have been just one of many girls, and possibly a few guys you had taken back to your mat-laden garage for a light round or two, followed by a little after-match celebration, never to be called again, or thought about, for that matter. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if you would even be interested in seeing me again, which is why I never messaged you until I knew I was coming back into town. “Me—hrrhmm…“ I stumble for a second as my throat rasps from the sudden bout of dryness, brought on by nerves, clearing my throat.

20:06 Joanna_Louvier: “Me too. I uh…” I what? What was it you wanted to say? Think, Joanna… “I’ve never responded to an opponent like I did you…” no shit… anything to add, genius? “I’ve never done that with someone before. I’ve fantasized about it, but never actually… did it.” Ok, getting warmer, but… But there’s more to it… there has to be. It wasn’t just the thrill of the experience—the physical struggle and sexual conquest that followed. It was this nagging little voice in my fighter brain… the one I know I shouldn’t listen to. My competitive side. The instigator, pot-stirrer, shit-starter. The trash talker—an extension of my flirty side… Or something different all together? And then, like an overturned bowl of soup, it just spills out of me, and all over your nice white trousers, “I let you off easy, you know?” I tease, grinning cheekily, “If we had kept going…” I let myself trail off on purpose, letting you draw your own conclusions about my meaning.

20:23 muaythaijay: Wow, OK, this is happening. A small part of me resists the primal, masculine urge to punch the air and yell "YA FUCKIN' BEAUTY", which loosely translates from the original Scottish as "Prithee, I am very enamored by this fortuitous turn of events, dear lady". Wow... I'm hoping that the fairly innocuous smile on my face belies all the mental gymnastics I'm currently doing with myself. Truth be told it all happened so quickly, and then we weren't back in touch with each other... I figured you'd moved on, and retrospectively curse myself for maybe being a bit too laid-back about it all.

20:26 muaythaijay: I finally give some voice to my mental freestyle. "You know, I'll be honest" I say, fully intending to really only fulfill part of that promise - "I've never felt like that before either. It was..", and my eyes comb the air, looking for the right words to flutter down onto my tongue before smiling a bit.. "REALLY fucking awesome".

20:29 muaythaijay: I notice the effect this has on you, I can see the endorphins doing their work for sure, but something deeper in me reminds me that you've just called me out. Oh we're playing that game are we, J-Lo? Big mouth strikes again. So, bold as brass, I finish the sentence off crisply and with a bit of a flourish "and if we'd kept going... then you'd have ended up in the hospital".

14:23 Joanna_Louvier: I don’t like to put too too much stock in astrological signs, but as I realize what this conversation is quickly devolving into, I’m reminded of a lyric from the song Warrior by the 70’s Irish rock legends Thin Lizzy… “see my heart is ruled by Venus, and my head by Mars.” As an agonophile, I think about that lyric a lot. But it’s different for you and me. Our hearts and heads are both ruled by Mars. It’s in the chart. Look it up. We have this exquisite vocabulary in common, truly the oldest language in the world… and it makes every fleeting moment we share in the same space as rapturous as it is dangerous.

14:24 Joanna_Louvier: Typical me, typical me, typical me, I started something… and now I’m not so sure. I can’t resist you, my pugilistic paramour. I can’t resist the urge to plunge into the deep blue abyss of your danger. I can’t stop myself from asking the question. And I can tell I am having the same effect on you. You didn’t take me out to this wine bar for a fight. But… here we are. Getting right the fuck down to business.

14:26 Joanna_Louvier: “Is that so?” I purr, pouring myself another glass of the expensive champagne… “If I recall correctly, you’re the one who wanted to stop…” taking a sip, holding my hand up to indicate that I have more to say… then lowering my gaze back to you. Scooting my barstool up nice and close… “And I think it’s because you KNOW I would have absolutely massacred you if we’d kept going.”

14:28 Joanna_Louvier: Of course, I know that wasn’t the reason. I’m just trying to get your blood up, because we’re quite similar in that way… You were never worried about me kicking your ass. You’d probably prefer that to actually hurting me. Because you are a sweet guy, Jay, I know it. But you’re afraid. You’re afraid of what you would have done to me if we really went all out. And that gets me hot. Very hot.

15:48 muaythaijay: I pause momentarily as you lean into me, eyeballing me, daring me to take you on. Honestly, in my typically male way I think I’d remembered you being more submissive after how the fight ended up - but this brings it all back. You’re a beast - pure alpha, every bit as aggressive and dominant as I am… fuck, maybe even more… I’m contemplating my reaction at an intellectual level, but as always my reptilian brain gets there first as I feel my cock start to swell uncontrollably in my trousers. Normally I’d be incredibly uncomfortable sitting open-legged in a cocktail bar with the outline of my sex on display for anyone to see, but there’s no room for that in my head as you challenge me.

15:57 muaythaijay: There you are, fucker! Now we see each other. The politeness was nice while it lasted. The fight or flight hormones start to flood my system and the rest of the crowd, the bar, the dreadful John Mayer song playing in the background… all fade back. This isn’t a date any more - this is a fucking challenge. I stare you down for what seems like an eternity - likely only a couple of seconds - but I see nothing approaching a climbdown in those bottomless eyes, only a reflection of similar aggression. I lean in even further, having to get off the stool now, getting right in your personal space, way too close, flexing my frame as I do so. Veins coursing with aggression, I put my right arm on yours, gripping it just hard enough to make the point, trying to show dominance, then lean my head centimeters from yours, trying to overwhelm your senses with it all.

15:58 muaythaijay: “Anytime you want to finish it off,” - I leer, spitting that last word out, “I’m ready for you”.

21:23 Joanna_Louvier: My ploy is working… I see the physiological effects of my words working their magic over your body, starting with that magnificent cock of yours, displaying so clearly through your white trousers… hello there, nice to see you again… your pupils dilating and veins surging with testosterone and adrenaline to make Bruce Banner blush. As you up the ante, inching closer to me and putting your right arm on my left… trying your best to show me you’re the “alpha,” I suppress the urge to respond with a chuckle… Staredowns always seem ridiculous to me, but when you’re in one, it’s a prisoner’s dilemma. If you break to acknowledge the absurdity while your opponent maintains posture, you lose. If you both break, it’s a win-win. But that never happens.

21:24 Joanna_Louvier: So I bite my tongue and lean back into you. My nose, my forehead, my lips, almost touching yours. I take in your scent, a mix of sex and violence signals hitting my olfactory system… I can’t decide whether I want to kiss you or… put you through a table. Oh… I want to reach my right hand down and just grab a handful of your bulge, but I know people are already staring at our now extremely socially unacceptable behavior. I hear the bartender mumbling something about whether we would like the check now, perhaps trying to deescalate the two feral dogs that somehow wandered into their otherwise unremarkable establishment.

21:24 Joanna_Louvier: I can’t help but catch the next tune that plays on the Jukebox of Questionable Taste. Right on cue, I hear John Mayer serenading us, “slow dancing in a burning room…” a room burning with a fire lit by passion, boldness, and pride, which, if you were wondering, is what the red and orange orchids signify.

21:26 Joanna_Louvier: “You’re on. I want a ring, and rounds this time. Full contact. Official rules. With a medic on standby. No holding back this time. And…” I lean in close, very close, cupping my right hand over your ear, so only you can hear what I’m saying… heavy words are so lightly thrown. “I’m going to beat the living hell out of you, Jay. I am going to knock you out. And when you wake up… I want you to fuck me, hard.”

23:09 muaythaijay: Jesus, someone’s going to have to peel us off each other at this rate. This is rapidly becoming a scene. I can see a few beige heads turning behind me at the bar, perchance even - did I hear that? - a tut or two. Fuck them, I think. These are the people whose high and low points are measured in high school fees, church meetings, empty, exploitative investments and faux agony from their medicated teenage trust-fund tinheads… people who fuck solely for procreation, once a year, five minutes of missionary and then a cigar and a White Claw under the “Live, Laugh, Love” wall art.

23:14 muaythaijay: Our currency isn’t welcome in a place like this. Our currency is ancient, bestial, violent… and right now we’re both aflame with what it’s doing to us. I’ve never in my life wanted to fight and fuck someone so hard - anyone with a sightline in this bar to my groin can see this. Let’s give them something to look at. We’re at this incredible impasse that would be hilarious were we not ready to rape each other - I’m in your face, you’re in mine… I started something, I forced you to a zone / And you were clearly never meant to go.

23:22 muaythaijay: I don’t overthink what I do next, but again it feels like the only way to put a pin in this tension before someone throws a bucket of ice at us. So I kiss you, tenderly brushing my lips against yours and teasing a firm but polite tongue into your mouth, my head shimmering with incredible sensory fireworks as our lips meet, trying again to overwhelm you, break your defenses down and come away from this micro-fight with some semblance of dominance. Mmmm I’d forgotten how good you taste, Joanna…

23:35 muaythaijay: I pull back as quickly as I started, kissing you just long enough to light what I hope is an emotional torch paper that scatters you and sends you into a doe-like state of disarray, Bambi on ice. Pulling back, watching the pinball thoughts bounce off the muscles of your beautiful face, I say - no longer whispering, enunciating the words out so everyone can see - “I am going to utterly. Fucking. Dominate. You. And when we’re done -“ I can’t resist, it’s the primordial soup sloshing around my brain now, “I’m going to fuck you raw… Joanna.”

22:51 Joanna_Louvier: Pulling back from my whispered, threatening come-on, I get a temperature read on the room, and on the man sitting on the barstool across from me. I notice the lack of dull chatter around us, finally realizing that every single other person in the room is watching us. And, if the people stare, then the people stare… I have barely brought my face back in front of yours before we are locked at the eyes again, your blue flames burning into my soul. And I see that we are communicating again, in that secret, hidden way.

22:54 Joanna_Louvier: In that moment, before I can read you, you close that centimeter of distance and bring your lips to mine. Fuck. Yes. So tender… so fucking sensual. Your neatly trimmed beard hairs tickle my upper lip and chin as your tongue parts my lips and finds its way in, meeting mine… reunited at last. I kiss back, realizing how much I had missed this intimacy with you, and the tension in my body dissipates as I begin to feel as if I’m about to melt… but then I feel you pull away. You pull away, too soon… and soon enough, I begin to understand why.

22:56 Joanna_Louvier: I study your face, the face of the man who just raised my hackles, then melted my defenses with a kiss. And judging by your current expression, your intentions seem less than romantic. Your words… offer nothing more than a reflection of my own stated intentions… but they cut into me like razor blades… they tear at my flesh… and I bite my tongue. It’s not that you kissed me. It’s that you weaponized a kiss, waiting until I showed vulnerability to go on the offensive. I feel a throb of betrayal in my gut, wondering what this makes us now. What were we before?

22:58 Joanna_Louvier: Whatever we are, I’m ready for a fucking war, now. Staring back at you. Standing up, fully off of my stool now, my face about two inches from yours. Knowing this can only end with one of us going down, hard. “God DAMN you, Jay. Nobody else does this to me…” in the periphery, sensing people around us getting up from their chairs… an almost imperceptible glimmer on my lower eyelids now. My fists clenched. But I’ll save that for the ring.

05:17 muaythaijay: Finally, I think, unable to stop the pleasure from coursing across my face. Advantage Jay. Yes it’s petty, yes it was a cheap, manipulative shot and, yes, it probably signals that tonight’s date has come to a crushing end. As I see the unmistakable fireworks of hurt and anger start to fizzle across your face, the best part of me wants to apologize and lead you out this dump by your hand to a dark, romantic dive where we can enjoy dinner, learn about each other and I can make amends for being such a prick… but the worst part of me is enjoying every minute of this power struggle. Well, you *did* poke me…

05:18 muaythaijay: The atmosphere softens with your comment, and for a brief second I feel a twinge of self-consciousness in my gut as I realize every ashen face in this bar is looking at me, all flustered and growling at you with a very public boner. We’ll no doubt be the talk of the HOA this weekend. “Let’s get the fuck out of here”, I offer with a half-smile, leading you out into the street. Again I’m taken with an urge to just hold you, make amends, put my hands on your face and feel our lips touch authentically – like there’s any chance of that now, dummy – but between my awkwardness as the calming night air hits us, and my still-burning need to best you, all I can do is deliver the weakest pseudo-air-kiss to your cheek and say “Tomorrow night. 8pm. I’ll text you the address” and start walking off to the parking lot before I even get a chance to register your reaction.

22:50 Joanna_Louvier: I’m fuming, watching the smug, self-satisfied expression forming on your face, despite your efforts to conceal it. Why couldn’t you just let a kiss just be a kiss? I cast my gaze down and away from you, sitting back down on my barstool, pretending to study the wine menu… sort of embarrassed that I let something so seemingly small make me so visibly upset… I did not bring my poker face tonight, apparently. Ugh, I don’t know if you meant it to hurt like that… maybe I’m overanalyzing… I tend to do that. Of course, here I am second-guessing myself, which I know is *exactly* what you want me to do right now.

22:50 Joanna_Louvier: Taking a quick breath, I try to regain some semblance of poise. You see the effect you’ve had on me, and realizing there isn’t much left to say for now, you suggest we head out. I’m relieved, but also somewhat crushed. I had hoped tonight would have ended on a more amicable note, despite the fact that I know we are both interested in answering the same question—which of us will come out on top?

22:51 Joanna_Louvier: I don’t mean to play the innocent victim here… I can’t lay all of the fault at your feet. I think both of us sort of came here tonight for a date, but also, sort of, for a fight. And I’m only just now realizing why that can’t work. I can’t let my guard down for you—meaning we can’t truly connect—until we have it out, one of us finally coming out decisively on top. Because I know you won’t let yours down until that happens.

22:52 Joanna_Louvier: I’m willing to break you, or be broken, if that’s what it takes. I don’t particularly care which it is, but I am a fighter, and my default setting is “seek and destroy.” My motives for wanting to humble you should be self evident, at this point. And yet… if you are warrior enough to best me… I think I could live with that, too. But it’s crystal clear to me that we can’t live in a perpetual state of deténte any longer.

22:53 Joanna_Louvier: As we leave the bar and I order another Uber to take me back to the other side of town, your instincts telling you not to touch me are correct… Outside of our exceptionally animalistic “fight/fuck” mode, we haven’t earned that level of intimacy yet. So you don’t get to touch me again until 8pm tomorrow night. And tomorrow night, we will have all the contact we could ever ask for, and we will finally get to the bottom of this.

05:19 muaythaijay: I trudge to the car, not sure of what just happened. It felt fucking awesome, to be honest. Tonight we found out that the chemistry between us hadn’t dwindled in the weeks since we connected… quite the opposite. And yeah, I was a bit of a dick there, but what I just did makes what we’re going to do tomorrow drip even more with significance. We can do the whole hand-holding, cinema date getting-to-know-you stuff in due course – but we have a shitload of other stuff to work through first. I drive past the Winker Laundromat, noticing that it’s still open – Old Ma W must be washing the Girl Scout Uniforms again, bless her little heart – and I can’t help but grin as Boston starts playing on the radio. Of course, it’s “Let Me Take You Home Tonight” – Oh, the fucking irony. I make it home before the song ends, brush my teeth, play with the dogs a bit, lay my head on the pillow and fall into a deep sleep that positively teems with possibilities.

22:54 Joanna_Louvier: I crash hard after getting back to my hotel room, partially from being tired from my flight, partially from dealing with the emotional turmoil of our date. My sleep is restless, and I wake up the next day feeling groggy. Work is a slog because fighting you is all I can think about until I finally get a chance to crash again for about a half hour, from about 4:00 to 4:30 pm. Fortunately, when I wake up from that, I feel amazing… fully recharged and ready to get into the fight mindset.

22:55 Joanna_Louvier: I head down to the hotel gym for an hour to get a bit of a warmup in… they don’t have any of the equipment I actually need, of course, but at the very least, it’s a dedicated space to move. I come back to the suite and take a shower, get a little dolled up, and get dressed to head over to the location you sent me. Just putting my hair back in the usual ponytail, with my trademark scrunchie and headband combo, my bouncy blonde mane wild as ever. Not wearing the choker for tonight’s date, for obvious reasons, as well as other reasons that I’ll keep to myself. For the trip over, I put on a dark green hoodie, grey track pants, and a pair of black and white Nike airs, concealing my real outfit underneath.

22:55 Joanna_Louvier: My coworkers are hanging out and getting ready to go out to dinner, eyeing me warily as I gather my fight gear, remembering how I came back with bruises and a cut on my temple last time. Not to mention, a course of Plan B, and everything that goes with that. This time, who knows what I’ll come back with. Maybe you, slung over my shoulder?

05:21 muaythaijay: It's 7:45 pm, and if I do say so I’m doing a fucking phenomenal job preparing this fight room for us. It’s a small, sanitized room that my old muay thai coach uses as a money pit for the Lulu Lemon brigade, running boxercise classes, circuits and the occasional white collar fight club experience. Everything’s brand new, the ring is in great condition, and the walls are covered in motivational quotes, abstract graphics of boxing greats, and other inoffensive attempts to pander to people who don’t actually really want to inflict violence on other people.

05:23 muaythaijay: Thankfully for me he also runs a side gig renting the room to those who do. I’ve fought a few guys here who were understandably not super-keen to make their first date some aggressive horny stranger’s garage – and in fact there’s something even more intense about doing what we love to do in a proper facility, with ropes, turnbuckles, all the fetish objects of the agonophiliac lifestyle. On my last trip here – about six months ago now – I left an extra tip for the cleaning crew as the ring was like a petri dish when we were done… but my coach knows the kind of proclivities people like us have… and he never asks questions because his clients pay him well.

05:23 muaythaijay: Tonight I’ve hiked the heating right up to about 90, turned the lights down so there’s just one Edison bulb hanging over the ring, and tried to make the atmosphere as sweaty and oppressive for you as possible, even adding some loud music to the soundtrack to keep the tension sky high - and of course I picked "Release the Beast" by Breakwater. I want you instantly on the back foot when you come in here… and that’s even before I get changed into my fight gear and we start to exchange the inevitable fog of hormones when we’re ready to get into each other's space and truly unleash on each other.

05:27 muaythaijay: I look at the SEIKO clock on the wall and take a deep breath, doing some stretches. Nervous, but not like last time. I know what I can bring, what I can do to your will, your strength and the tenderest parts of that hard Amazon body. No, not nervous. Just fucking hungry for you.

22:57 Joanna_Louvier: After another thrilling drive across town, I arrive at the location you sent me last night. I step out of the Uber at the entrance to the building where you told me we could settle this, and I check the time on my phone—7:58 pm—and send you a text to let you know I’m here: “I’m outside. Come let me in so I can kick your ass.”

00:58 muaythaijay: It’s funny, there’s no awkwardness for me tonight in this place.. we’ve done our little dance, communicated pretty much everything we needed to get out there - and now it’s time to let our bodies and our limbs do the talking. I’m wearing a loose dark grey Black Flag T-Shirt and some comfortable sweats, not long out of the shower - unlike you I took a half day today to get my head right and the room ready when the last class of the day finished an hour ago. I’m hoping the heat and the music intimidates you a bit, but I’m also starting to realize that you’re not a woman who is intimidated easily… and let’s be clear, on the two occasions where I’ve managed to get the jump on you it’s because I’ve cheated a bit and caught you with your guard down. I’m not going to have that luxury tonight, and there’s definitely something at the pit of my stomach that’s worrying me about what I might be up against.

01:00 muaythaijay: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, cheap shotted in the face and given the nastiest of nasty kisses, right?

01:05 muaythaijay: I get your text and head towards the door, initially bouncing with excitement - I mean, c’mon, I’m about to have the fucking hottest woman I’ve ever met come and fight with me, this is heaven - but effortlessly switching to what I’m hoping looks like an aggressive poker face, like a bulldog licking stale piss off a stinging nettle. I can’t let you see me looking like a kid on Christmas morning when I open this door - but we both know how we feel… it’s the whole dance around it that makes it so delightful and unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my four decades on this planet. I’m not sure I do a particularly good job of masking my excitement when I unlock the door and am reminded of what a sheer fucking force of nature you are as you breeze in, but I keep up the charade anyway, offering a feeble fist-pump and mumbling an affectedly nonchalant “Hi there, come on in” as you close the door behind you. Here we go….

19:51 Joanna_Louvier: You open the door, and I step inside, letting it close and lock behind me. My eyes barely make contact with yours as I quickly pass by you, offering only a brisk “hi.” I can see that you’re trying your best to look nonplussed, even trying to intimidate me a little. Well, that’s not going to fucking work. My walls are fully up, with added fortifications. As far as I’m concerned right now, it’s like you’re nobody to me. Like I don’t know you. And I’m doing this at once to protect myself from your mind games, and also to hopefully give you a little reality check. To show you that I’m serious, and I’m ready to hurt you. With the kind of cold, calculating application of force I usually reserve for professional fights. A Fury embodied; call me Allecto, “unceasing in anger.” If I know you at all, I know you’re smart enough to know that you should be afraid.

19:53 Joanna_Louvier: Deep, deep down, I am excited of course, giddy like a fucking schoolgirl… and I am hungry… to again taste the passion we shared last time, both in combat and copulation. But I can’t let myself surrender to that passion, that pleasure, until I break you down sufficiently. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it. Gods know you won’t tear your own walls down yourself.

20:00 Joanna_Louvier: Right now, I’m pacing around, looking for a changing room, putting my AirPods in because this music is too fucking loud, and starting to sweat because you’ve turned up the heat insanely high, probably in an effort to simulate the tropical climate of Thailand. Here in fucking Dallas, though, that kind of heat just kind of feels like an oppressively muggy, stinky gym. “Heh, I always thought this was a Daft Punk song…” I mumble as I catch the signature riff of Release the Beast, breaking my facade of ‘avenging demoness ascended to earth,’ “mind if I add a couple songs to this playlist?” I kind of bark in monotone over the loud music, still not looking directly at you… Like hell I’m going to let you dictate the soundtrack to our ring room reunion.

02:51 muaythaijay: While it’s *incredibly* hot in here, when you enter it feels momentarily like someone’s let a deep chill in the room, the sheer FUCK YOU aura that you’re carrying radiating like a forcefield. Oh shit, I think, some of that anxiety creeping back along with a bit of paranoia, I *really* overstepped it yesterday, she’s livid. My outstretched fist remains resolutely un-bumped as you treat it with utter nonchalance.

02:52 muaythaijay: “Hi” is just one syllable in this instance, but the way you spit it out at me like it’s a razorblade under your tongue that makes me start thinking I should have been less of a wanker last night. Of course, I’m pushing all this down, like you sporting the thin armor of nonchalance whilst holding my real emotions in like a fart at a funeral, but I catch a glimpse of amicability in your music comment and nervously jump at the chance to make sure everything’s cool with us. Is everything cool? I fucking hope so. You’re here, so I guess it is? Fuck, why do I always feel like a teenager with you?

02:52 muaythaijay: “Yeah”, I offer up, trying not to be too engaged. “Fucking love this tune – and if your taste in music is as good as your taste in men, then go forth and prosper”. There you fucking go, stud – the silver-tongued cavalier strikes again! I’m excited at my pedestrian line, but your withering look into the middle distance shows how well that one went down.

02:53 muaythaijay: “Changing room is over there” I say, gesturing at a small adjoining room that has a wall of about 20 lockers, a couple of cubicles and a bench. Rates are so high in this part of town that most of these gyms and exercise studios offer the bare minimum – clean, functional, get-in-then-get-out. Which frankly is ideal for what we need it for tonight, although a shower would be nice. A shower...mmm... my mind briefly spins to a carousel of mental images depicting the different things that you and I could do in a shower cubicle, and once again I feel a tumescence start to build between my legs.

02:54 muaythaijay: “There’s not much room – but I’m pretty good to go once I get my gloves on”, I say, walking over into your field of vision so you can’t ignore me, once again getting right into your space like I did the other night. Only this time we’re not in a bar, and there’s a good chance you might want to start early and just barefist thump me for my cheek – but I’m counting on a lack of cheap shots from either of us tonight. Barefoot already, I start to peel my t-shirt off, already sweating a little, pecs flexing as I throw the t-shirt to the ground, inches from you, letting you see the sheen of sweat on my body, my abs, oiled and toned pre-fight, letting you smell my mix of aftershave, soap and musk.

02:56 muaythaijay: Not taking my eyes off you, challenging you with my gaze… take a fucking LOOK at this, Joanna. Not missing a beat, I bend down slightly, doing this quickly as if I’m about to attack, seeing if you flinch – you don’t, you’re way too smart for my schtick now – and pulling my joggers off to reveal the skimpiest set of gold Fairtex trunks, emblazoned with the letter “J” in black on the waistband and - from the outline of my engorged penis against them – clearly covering nothing, not even a cup. Again, no need to literally gird my loins against a cheap shot tonight… or is there?

02:57 muaythaijay: I smile as I flex in your space, watching you take the spectacle of my body in. Why the “J” on the shorts? Why not “Jay” when I ordered them after our text exchange? Who knows, I think. Whatever happens tonight, these shorts are yours – just as I am. I say none of this, of course, still trying to get you amped up and get in your nostrils, your head, and other secret recesses of your body. Still smiling, I can't help it, breathing in your smell through my nose, noticing those signature patchouli notes again... this is fucking electric.

23:21 Joanna_Louvier: I can tell my “ice queen” shtick is having the intended effect, because you instantly warm again once I mention your playlist. Even in the limited time we’ve had to connect, one thing we both know is that we both “appreciate music,” whatever the fuck that means… which I know from experience can’t be said for everyone who is into combat sports. So even if our tastes don’t necessarily overlap completely, there’s bound to be some mutual favorites on this playlist. I could retaliate with a snarky comment about my taste in men, but I choose not to.

23:22 Joanna_Louvier: I take a moment to add a few of my own personal favorite power anthems, mostly from the 2000’s and 2010’s: Rockers to Swallow by Yeah Yeah Yeahs, because it tends to scare guys; Bamboo Banga by MIA, mostly because it gets me pumped up; a couple high energy tracks from bands from your “homeland,” broadly speaking, that I hope you won’t hate—Art Brut, Franz Ferdinand, Joy Division, the Cure, and the Smiths…. Damn, it’s stupid how many bands I like are from the UK. A couple random picks like Battle Without Honor or Humanity by HOTEI, just because it’s such a legendary track, made famous by the movie Kill Bill… Anyway, I need to focus on the fight. Once I’m satisfied with my fight-DJ selections, I turn to head over to the changing room…

23:23 Joanna_Louvier: Of course, you’ve managed to interpose yourself between me and the room, giving me a little show as you begin to remove your outer layers, stripping down to what will soon be “practically naked.” As you peel off your Black Flag T-Shirt, I notice the way your pecs and abs shimmer under the dim light of the single Edison bulb hovering over the ring… who the fuck designs the lighting in this town? At least I brought my own baby oil this time.

23:25 Joanna_Louvier: You’re looking even more ripped than last time. Almost like our first fight was a wake up call to give you something to train for again. I take in your scent, recognizing the recent shower smell, the body wash and cocktail of other scents, as well as the musk you’ve worked up from your pre-fight warmup. Between that, and seeing you skin shimmer over those muscles in the warm, dim light, I start to feel the heat of arousal throbbing through my body, reaching down deep inside of me, like flicking on a breaker switch in the basement after a bad winter storm. My body humming to attention. My hyperfocus kicking in, heart rate climbing, tips of a couple of my fingers and toes going cold for a bit… a weird quirk of my body and brain. Eyes locking with yours… your ploy to mess with me, but I don’t care. I adore your eyes.

23:27 Joanna_Louvier: You strip off those pants, and my focus goes to your golden Fairtex shorts, your swollen cock outlined from within, and the conspicuous “J” on the front of the waistband. It takes me a second to size up your intentions with that. Can’t wait to strip those off of you. I can’t help but notice the powerful musculature of your quads, calves, hamstrings, and of course, that magnificent ass under the silky fabric of those shimmering trunks. Well… Good thing I came here already dressed for battle underneath my sweats.

23:30 Joanna_Louvier: Foregoing the changing room, I maintain eye contact with you as I strip off my hoodie, revealing a bright red sports bra, similar to the green and gold one I wore last time, except the trim is in metallic gold, and the custom bow graphic is in matte white. My skin isn’t oiled up yet, though, so I’ll need the changing room for that, but there’s a bit of a sweat sheen on me due to the heat of the room. I flex my abs, my biceps, my obliques, and my powerful lats as I hold the bunched up hoodie over my head, rolled up to my wrists, as my long, messy ponytail flops down over my right shoulder, sweaty, stray straw-blonde strands of hair already falling this way and that. If only I had someone to help me keep them all in order.

23:32 Joanna_Louvier: Finally, I kick off my Nikes, stepping on the cold floor one bare foot at a time, revealing a recent lacquer crimson pedicure, somewhat chipped since I hadn’t had time since touching down yesterday, then out of my track pants, one leg at a time, revealing a matching pair of custom red shorts with gold trim, the word “Huntress” written across the front in big, shining, lavish lettering typical of the Muay Thai aesthetic.

23:33 Joanna_Louvier: I let my hoodie and pants fall in a heap behind me as I step closer to you, then closer, keeping my eyes locked on yours as I match your height and your posture. I hear the next track come on the playlist, one of my picks, and a relatively new one, “L.A.” by Boy Harsher. Not one I expect you to recognize, but one that I know you can’t avoid feeling, deep in your chest, in your loins. My gaze cool and confident, but maybe not as cold now. Because the room is heating up, and we can both feel it. After a couple seconds of near silence, the two of us just breathing in each other’s faces, my eyes daring you to try something again this time… I break the silence, “I need to get oiled up. Mind if I…?” Implying that I’d appreciate it if you’d get out of the fucking way.

16:18 muaythaijay: I’ve always had the biggest fetish for boxing gear since my awkward teens, a magpie-like fascination with the shiny paraphernalia of violence that in turn led me to taking up this sport, making my body strong and - in a period that would change my life forever - finding men and women who shared the same primal lusts that I once felt embarrassed to have. There’s something about the juxtaposition of the shiny, almost feminine air that the shorts connote with the hyper-aggressive and ultra-toned violent bodies of most of the people who wear them that speaks directly to the power between my legs… to a glut of greedy, primitive desires that for much of my life I chose not to acknowledge. But at this point in my life, one of my biggest victories has been to cast that shame aside and, for perhaps the first time, see myself as I truly am. I live for these moments.

16:24 muaythaijay: So you can imagine the adrenaline that courses through my body when you oh-so-casually strip those clothes off to reveal your body - that toned, smooth and powerful physique and quite possibly the sexiest pair of red shorts I’ve seen on a man or a woman. The synapses of my brain run into overdrive as I take in the full picture of the Huntress, resplendent like Artemis herself and right here with me in this room tonight. I remember that body so well - seeing it for the first time in months triggers a maelstrom of emotions and memories that make me grow even harder in my trunks… so fucking much to take in here, you’re too much…

16:30 muaythaijay: Beautiful. Strong. Intelligent. Oh - and there it is on the speakers - I will hurt you anyway / It’s just a matter of our time - fucking cool. The song had never sounded like a promise of violence, but tonight it’s like a direct threat, one that - like the gym work you’ve clearly done since we last met, like the new shorts, like the playlist - you’ve prepared specifically for us, for this moment, for what we’re about to do to and with each other. I wonder what the people in the bar would think if they saw us now, finally in our own natural environment, dressed for battle and without any barriers or obstacles to stop us indulging our most base, violent desires together. It’s scary, it’s exhilarating, it’s nerve-wracking, it’s just… a bundle of stuff that makes this moment, us staring into each other’s eyes, so unforgettable.

16:36 muaythaijay: But I digress. With all this going on in my head, I can’t do anything other than drop the dickhead act for a second. “You look….” I say, noticing you waiting for me to say something rude… “fucking incredible”. Wow, tell her how you *really* feel, bro. Just getting that out there and dropping some of the schtick, weirdly, feels good… I can’t lie when you’re so close to me like this. I step out of your way, ceding to your magnetism, and gesture over to the meagre changing room - “you go get oiled up….” - and I just can’t stop myself, I follow with a “Let me know if you need any help, I could definitely use some too”. There we go. I said it. Go figure.

19:19 Joanna_Louvier: “Let me know if you need any help…” your offer creates a very seductive mental image. Your strong, graceful hands caressing my skin, the oil gliding over our bodies as we cover every inch of each other in the slick substance… I’d be stripped down completely… I want your hands on me… all over me… and I want my hands all over you, too… I want to grab you, grope you, knead your muscles, hold your body close to mine… But that would require me to be vulnerable, and I can’t let my guard down with you. Not until one of us goes down. Not to mention, I have a feeling things would unravel pretty quickly, and we’d probably just end up fucking raw on the floor of the changing room, and I didn’t come all the way out here just for the incredible, raw, passionate, primal, steamy sex… fuuuuhuhhuuuckkkk…

19:20 Joanna_Louvier: “I think I’ll manage, but thanks,” I say, with a slightly bemused smirk. I want you to see that I can see the appeal of it… but that I’ve still got my eyes on the prize. The prize being you, how I want you. Broken down, conquered, finally having learned some fucking respect, and making love to me tenderly, like any good man knows how… or… Taking me, ravaging me, claiming me as your well earned spoils of war, in a passionate, primal heat, probably making good use of my ponytail… either way, I am so hot for you… for what is to come. For us. But we have important business to attend to first.

19:21 Joanna_Louvier: I slip into the changing room and shut the door behind me, hearing the heavy, reassuring “click.” Get out my gloves, wraps, mouthguard, bottle of oil. Since I’m afforded some privacy in here, I strip down, totally naked, oiling my body up from head to toe, and everything in between. If only you could get a view of this… eat your heart out, Jay… I slip on a light, athletic black panty before slipping my trunks back on. If you want to go commando, that’s your call, but I came here to do battle, so I’m wearing an extra layer of armor. We’re not starting anything before the final bell rings, and you’re not even getting a glance at the goods this time until the battle is over.

19:23 Joanna_Louvier: I slip my top back on over my head, snapping it firmly into place and adjusting until my “girls” feel nice and supported by the elastic, lightly padded material built into the front. Then I wrap my hands, pop my white mouthguard in, and grab my bright red 10 ounce Cleto Reyes Velcro gloves… yeah, the lace gloves are sexier, but I know I’ll want to be able to get these off easily later. I turn back to the mirror one more time, taking a deep breath in, before exhaling, releasing the tension in my body, ready to go back out there and face you in the ring. I turn the doorknob, and step back out into the ring room. I’m ready. Let’s do this.

22:12 muaythaijay: 10/10 for effort there, stud, I smirk to myself as you walk away, holding all the power. In any other circumstance I’d feel rejected, assailed by all the crappy self-talk that’s the stock-in-trade of the male ego… but, damn you, you turned me down in the most alluring way. For a minute I let the burning wisps of my proposition float around the air, but then I start to think a little more with the brain atop my neck rather than the one between my thighs.

22:13 muaythaijay: We didn’t come here for an oil massage… looking over at the ring, I’m reminded of the chief purpose for tonight - which was to lock together in intense, all-or-nothing combat and answer the question that’s been on both our lips since our eyes met in that dreadful fight club… who is the alpha? Which of these apex predators can beat the other to submission? Once we’ve worked that out, there will be ample time for oil massages, hand-holding, dinner dates…whatever the fuck people like us do after the pecking order is established, who knows?

22:14 muaythaijay: I walk over to my kit bag at the side of the room and get my own baby oil out. Sometimes the best love is the kind we give ourselves, right? I’m looking at myself in the mirror as I start to run my hands across my body, feeling the tightness in my abs, the economy and strength with which every sinew responds as I massage it. Full disclosure - I’ve been training for tonight every day since we last met… and it fucking shows. Starting to feel the testosterone build and my brain shift gears, I briefly form a mental image of what you’re doing with your own body just yards away, where your hands are going, what you’re thinking and, perhaps, who you’re thinking about.

22:16 muaythaijay: Without even thinking about it, my hand creeps under the waistband of my trunks and I’m oiling my thighs, my testicles and the engorged shaft of my cock, which responds delightfully. Based on our last interaction, there will be zero need for any lubrication tonight, but the way the oil kisses the pores of my glans makes me feel even stronger as I start to tease around the ridges of my foreskin… mmmph… Pulling my white Everlast gloves out of my bag with one hand, I take the other hand - covered in oil and some pre-cum from my shorts - all your doing, honey - and lather some of the mix on the gloves lightly, thinking that this will add even more pheromones to the already-overflowing cauldron of tension that we’ve created.

22:17 muaythaijay: I take a deep, calming breath and start to think tactics, diligently wrapping the tape around my thumb, across my palm - taking extra care to do this slowly and carefully. When I start using these fists to destroy every ounce of the fight in you and leave you an unconscious mess on the canvas in front of me, I need them tight, protected and comfortable. Plus… who knows where these hands might end up going when I’m done breaking your face.

22:17 muaythaijay: I pull the gloves on, adjust my waistband and climb into the ring, flexing my oiled muscles as you walk out of the changing room every inch the mental, physical and sexual match for me. I start punching my gloves together as you approach, game face on now, cock tenting the shorts, trying to intimidate you with a display of utter fucking brute masculinity. If this has an effect, then it’s impossible to see it - you look cool as a cucumber as you enter the ring, totally unfazed by my display and clearly already thinking about how you’re going to beat me to a bloody pulp.

22:19 muaythaijay: I briefly close my eyes, take a deep breath in and float out of myself for a nanosecond. Could this really be happening? How could two people like us end up meeting and coming to this moment, tonight, here in this ring? I open my eyes and there you are, ready for me - the toughest bitch alive. Someone lets a net of butterflies loose deep in my gut as our eyes meet… fuck me, it’s real, it’s happening!

22:19 muaythaijay: End of Chapter 1

Published: 2022-05-03, viewed 99 times.