Lord ﹠ Lady Darcy's Fight Club

Announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen… WELCOME… AGAIN… to… LORD… AND… LADY… DARCY’S… FIGHT… CLUB!!!” (The crowd let’s out an ENORMOUS CHEER.) “And now… back from their… ahem… vacation… at His Majesty’s Pleasure… the founders of the Fight Club… LORD… and… LADY… DARCY!!” (The crowd starts to whoop and holler.)

Lord_Darcy: I step out through the curtain from backstage with a microphone in my hand. I raise my other hand to quieten the crowd so I can speak. “Folks, it’s good to be back. (The crowd cheers.) Now you probably now that my wife and I have been… away… for a little while, clearing our… good names… of outrageous charges of… tax evasion, match fixing, and… trading standards violations…” (The crowd lets out a “Huh?” in response to the last item.)… “Watering down the beer…” I explain before continuing. “Now, these charges, were… alleged… to the authorities by… persons unknown… but we all have a good idea who it was, don’t we??!!. (The crowd goes “Oooh”.) “People who have taken the opportunity to set up their own… rival… fight company!!” (The crowd gasps.) “Well folks,… THE DARCY’S ARE… BACK… and we will be… DEALING WITH THOSE GRASSES IN FUTURE!” (The crowd goes “OOOOH”.)

Lord_Darcy: I wait for the crowd to settle down then continue. “Now folks, you know… nature abhors a vacuum… and while we were on our… unplanned vacation… from the club, a NEW ORDER has arisen seeking to assert… THEIR CONTROL… over LORD AND LADY DARCY’S FIGHT CLUB… I am talking about a group called… THE DEI SQUID FAMILY…” (The crowd GASPS.) I continue, “Well folks… THE DARCY’S ARE FIGHTING BACK… we are going to REASSERT OUR AUTHORITY over LORD AND LADY DARCY’S FIGHT CLUB… and we’re starting on that tonight!... And who else would you expect to lead the fight back but… the one and only Busty British Bruiser herself, none other than… LADY… NICOLA… DARCY!!” I turn around and hold open the curtain for my wife to step through.

Lady_Darcy: I step through the curtain into the arena dressed in my red, high-waist, bikini with white boots, raising my hand in the air to point and receive the adulation of my fans. At 5’4”, 175lbs, 49 yo, I am an experienced veteran of the fight club scene, and I strut confidently towards the ring, my voluptuous body bouncing and wobbling in my costume as I proceed. I can hear some of the crowd making derisive comments about my physique and age, clearly stooges of the Dei-Squid Family and I give them the contemptuous sneer they deserve.

Lady_Darcy: Undeterred I march on to the ring and climb up onto the apron and duck into the ring between the middle and top rope, giving the Dei Squid Family a gloating smirk and ensuring my fans get a good view of my physique.

Lady_Darcy: Ignoring the jeers of one section of the crowd I reach through the ropes and my husband hands me the microphone. I walk to the centre of the ring to address the crowd.

Lady_Darcy: “Oooh, now, darlings… I am sure you’re pleased to see me again, aren’t you?!” I smile gratifyingly as some in the crowd cheer, while others boo loudly. “Now, as you’ve heard… some nasty people tried to have the Darcy’s imprisoned!!... (The crowd gasps.)… And some equally nasty people, have tried to take control of Lord and Lady Darcy’s Fight Club away from… well… Lord and Lady Darcy… I mean… IT’S IN THE NAME FOLKS!!”... (The crowd cheers.) “Well darlings… no-one, and I repeat… NO ONE,… can stop me,… LADY DARCY… from fighting here at the club.” (Again, the crowd cheers.) “Because, darlings, no matter what is put in my way… there is only one QUEEN of Lord and Lady Darcy’s Fight Club and… YOU’RE LOOKING AT HER!!...”

Lady_Darcy: “And I am going to re-establish my position in the club by taking the Women’s Bareknuckle Boxing title away from the Godmother of the Dei Squid Family… none other than the undefeated… SUKI SQUID… (The crowd goes Oooh)… I know she is tough, and I know her Family will do everything they can to stop me… but I am NO QUITTER and tonight I am going to take the first step… I am gonna whup the ass of that MEXICAN HARLOT… CARLA VALENZUELA… because you see, the Dei Squid Family won’t let me have a title match with Suki Squid, unless I defeat Carla Valenzuela… SO CARLA, GET YOUR ASS INTO THIS RING… AND LET’S SEE WHO DESERVES A TITLE SHOT!!”… I hand the microphone to the referee and turn and walk to my corner where I lean back against the ropes and turnbuckles and wait for my opponent.

Valenzuela: I’m waiting in my tiny dressing room, barely bigger than one of those old-school telephone booths from the black-and-white movies, when I hear my name booming from the small arena, called out by none other than Lady Darcy, my challenger. What is she saying? I open the door to hear better. It’s the usual babble, but clearly the rumours were true, Revenue was after them. So, they are back, but I’m ready for this. Sure, I’ve had my ass handed to me in the last few fights... but those were the old days. I’ve trained harder than ever and reinvented myself. I’ve even laid off my favourite drink, the Corona cerveza… well... sort of. I’m only thirty, and I’m fighting fit again. Dangerous, mean, nasty, brutal. I sling my ghetto blaster under one arm, step out into the hallway in a short blue silk robe and a fresh pair of white boxing boots. As I reach the entrance to the small arena, I see it is packed, wall to wall, with the usual white-trash crowd howling for blood. Perfecto! I crank the volume on my ghetto blaster and smash the play button. The familiar sound of La Bamba floods the hall like a war cry.  (click on the image, not the link) It’s my kind of comfort. I hand the speaker to my second, then start strutting toward the ring, hips swaying, fists pumping to the beat. Some guy steps in front of me to do a last-minute check, but I just grin, lean in close, and whisper in his ear, “Chico... the last guy who tried checking me out needed a testicle transplant.” Then I give him a rough shove and march straight up the steps, slipping through the ropes like I own the place.

Valenzuela: Once inside the ring, I shrug off the robe, letting it slide to the canvas, revealing extremely short, tight-fitting boxing shorts... and my recent breast augmentation. No more droopy tits. My long, dark Latina hair is pulled back tight in a ponytail, wrists wrapped in black tape. The look on my face is pure contempt. I stare across the ring at Lady Darcy’s physique like it’s something to laugh at. As La Bamba fades away, I speak “So... someone call for a butcher? I’m here now…” I crack my knuckles. Then I raise my fists and sneer, “And these are my meat cleavers.”

Lady_Darcy: As I lean back in my corner watching you make your entrance, I sneer derisively...

Lady_Darcy: "Wait a tart" I think to myself and then when you enter the ring and let your robe fall off to show your bare breasts my eyes open wide, and I let out a chuckle. As you crack your knuckles and make comments about butchering me, I saunter across the ring to stand up close in front of you. With a cocky smile on my face, I nod at your bare breasts... "Looks like you've had a bit of work done huh sweetie?" I sneer at you, "Want to show it off huh?", I laugh then adjust my top over my own 38DD breasts... "Don't worry sweetie, size isn't everything!" I gloat...

Valenzuela: I give you a sneer, hands on my hips, pressing myself closer into you. "You said it chica, size ain't everything. It ain't the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog....or something like that" I laugh out loud and then look over at LD. "So, is hubby gonna be the ref? He better not get in my way. "

Lady_Darcy: "Okay sweetie, I am not sure we need a referee... but just to make sure you don't get hurt too bad his lordship can referee the fight..." I turn and wave to my husband to enter the ring...

Lord_Darcy: I smirk a wicked grin as my wife signals me to climb into the ring... I jump up onto the apron and duck through the ropes and then lean back in a neutral corner...

Lady_Darcy: I turn away from my husband and look back at you... "You know how this goes sweetheart... we fight until either one of us can't get up or she tells my hubby she's had enough... you got any last thoughts before I beat the crap out of you?"

Valenzuela: I roll my neck slow, then square my shoulders and walk right back into your space... real close... face to face now. My freshly done chest presses into yours with zero shame as I lock eyes with you, my smirk lazy and unbothered. "Last thoughts?" I echo, tapping my fingers once against my chin. "Yeah... I hope you got warmed up." I lean in just slightly, voice low, like I’m letting you in on a secret. "Because if you think I came all the way here to be your stepping stone, you’re gonna find out real fast what 125 pounds of pissed-off Latina feels like."

Lady_Darcy: You lean into me, pressing your pert breasts into my 38DD breasts and hiss away at me, ending with... "you’re gonna find out real fast what 125 pounds of pissed-off Latina feels like." With a sneer on my face I snort dismissively as you finish and then place my hands on your shoulders and shove you backwards. I clench my fists and raise my arms in my classic southpaw stance, leading with my right fist and leg, my left fist up guarding my chin, my head ducked down. I hiss back at you "Come on then chica... let's do this"

Valenzuela: I stumble back from you but quickly regain my footing. I smile at you....wait....what I call a smile is what you call a smirk in English. I raise my fists now and move into a orthodox stance, left foot and fist leading, elbows tucked in. "I'm ready to rock your world Darcy!" Then I wiggle my fingers at you, a silent taunt that says come at me, show me what ya got...

Lord_Darcy: As the two women take up their stances I grin wickedly and then turn my head to the timekeeper at ringside... "RING THE BELL!!" I order... DING!!... DING!!... DING!!...

Linda216: "Come on Carla! Show her who’s the better woman!" I yell at ringside as I watch in my white dress. Fingers tightly clenched as I know you'll win in my heart but always scared for you.

Mrs_Dei_Squid: “Smash her up good Carla!”

Valenzuela: I move to my right, looking you over, and taunt you, not with words, but by a look of utter contempt. I then step forward, feint a jab with my left, but quickly step back. This is not the old Valenzuela who rushes in without thinking, without a plan....no.....this is the new me.....

Anastasia_the_brawler: “Come on Lady Darcy break her! I bet on you!!”

Lady_Darcy: The bell rings and you are up on your toes... no surpise there... you feint a jab with your left... maybe the surprise is how quickly I am up on my toes, skipping to my right around your left jab, my voluptuous body already wobbling as I move quickly... Your left misses and you quickly start to backstep... no hesitation... I rapidly follow you, expecting to catch you by surprise... jabbing out quickly with my right fist at your head to keep your guard high and then dropping down and pivoting to a left hook at your solar plexus... before pulling my guard up tight and again skipping to my right around you...

Valenzuela: Well well well, LD can move. The ring really rocks as she stampedes towards me. And this is good, because I can do this all day, but can she? She is doing what I've always done, gone for a fast knock out. That right fist jabs out fast, but I see it coming, and step to my left quickly, that big right fist going over my right shoulder, and I can feel the power that you got as it nearly clips my right ear. And then a power punch comes out just as fast, but I keep moving to my left, putting me in a good position, out of range of your left fist. As it hits some empty air space, I'm quick to make my mark, my leftward movement keeps me in contact, so I punch out with a left jab at your chin, and then a right straight at your chin in rapid succession, then step back and keep moving to my left.....you think your fast? Let's let me show you fast chica!

Linda216: "That's it Carla! Use your speed! Fuck her up!" I scream nearly standing. I look over to Anastasia as we wager on this bout.

Anastasia_the_brawler: I look at Linda! "Shut up bitch!!! Darcy will destroy her opponent" I raise my middle fingers to Linda.. "COME ON DARCY BEAK THIS WEAK BITCH!"

Lady_Darcy: Damn! The Mexican bitch is really quick, my right jab flashes over her shoulder, no worries there, but she skips out of range of my big left to the solar plexus, and it leaves me a little unbalanced as I regain my guard and skip to my right... your left fist fly's out and slices through my guard... Uff... I grunt as it lands on my chin and knocks my head back... I shake my head and keep moving, but not fast enough... Ufff... your right flashes out and catches me on the chin, my head rocks and my legs gently shake... Uggg... I let out a grunt and shake my head again, my high ponytail flipping from side to side... I regain my composure and stance and now skip to my left to mirror your movement...

Valenzuela: Ohhhh... so you can feel those! My knuckles sure feel good as they collide with your chin, and the joy of seeing your head snap back, that ponytail wagging, is just indescribable. And now you move left, circling me, circling me as I move left. smart, maybe. "You alright over there, Duchess?" I say loud enough for the front row to hear. "You keep moving that fancy head around like that, you're gonna spill your tiara..." Then I feint another jab towards your face, not to hit, but to keep your eyes busy... as I twist my hips and whip a nasty right straight towards your lower floating ribs......just to try to start breaking the foundation. But I'm bouncing on my feet and bounce back a step after throwing the punch.

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: “Give up Darcy you can't win!”

Mrs_Dei_Squid: “That’s it Carla, smash her good!”

Anastasia_the_brawler: “I trust you Darcy, kill her, fight back and break her!!!! Make her scream!”

Lady_Darcy: Grrr... I growl in annoyance as I hear your taunt... "You alright over there, Duchess?" but I keep moving, my voluptuous body bouncing and wobbling as I skip... you flash out a jab towards my head, but you're clearly too far away and although I keep an eye on it I don't need change my movement... but now you drop down and twist and send a right towards my fleshy body,... Uff... I grunt as the blow slaps into my flesh and my belly wobbles, but now I retaliate, hooking my left at the right side of your head as you retreat and then stepping forward and bringing my right up in an uppercut to try and catch you on your chin... snorting and puffing for air as I rush in...

Linda216: "Come on Carla! Keep on her when you can! Work that body till she is on her knees crying her submission!" I scream. Staring hard at Anastasia with a look that could kill.

Valenzuela: That belly shot lands cleaner than I expected… yeah, I feel the give in your midsection, hear that “Uff” escape your lips. Felt like hitting a heavy bag... But I know better than to hang around and admire my work, you're already swinging back. That left hook slices in, fast and angry, aimed for the side of my skull. But I’m already bouncing away, on my back foot, my weight light and mobile. It clips air. Then comes your right uppercut, more brute force than precision, and you're snorting, charging, like a Duchess possessed. You want to take my head off, maybe even win back some pride. As your fist flies up toward my chin, I pivot hard to my left, shoulder rolling just out of the line, letting the strike graze past me, harmless. I feel your breath as you pass, hot, rushed, and in that moment, you’re too close. Perfecto. I plant, slide in close, and snap a tight right hook around the corner toward your left ear. Then keep moving back, circling to my right now, turning this into a track and field event.

Lady_Darcy: Ufff... Urgg... I puff and grunt as I swing my left hook and then my right uppercut, my fleshy body wobbling, my high ponytail bobbing back and forth, both punches failing to land and swishing through the air... I am beginning to get annoyed and frustrated that I can't lay a fist on you... annoyance that is compounded by your right fist hooking into my left ear and snapping my head violently to my right making me stumble to my right on legs that are shaking... fortunately you don't follow up but instead circle away from me... I shake my head again and recompose myself, reforming my southpaw guard and stance... I take a deep breath, heaving my 38DD chest up and down, and then start circling to my right, again mirroring your movement... the expression on my face one of bemusement and annoyance, trying to work out how to lay a fist on you... knowing that if I have a knockout punch and if can land it I can turn things around...

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: “Stop cheating ref”

Lord_Darcy: Looks at Suki in a confused manner... “I haven't been cheating... yet!”

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: Gives Lord Darcy the sign for warding off the evil eye

Valenzuela: My hook lands clean against your ear, snapping your head to the side, and I see the way your knees dip, your legs stutter, like your balance is caught off. But I don’t chase. I know better than to go diving into the undertow when there is a shark circling. It’s not the knockout shot I wanted... not even close. You’re too sturdy for that, built like a battleship under silk and spandex. I have to stick and move. Hurt and evade. This ain’t a slugfest I can win, we both know I’m not going to out-muscle you, and I sure as hell can't take the damage that your fists can inflict. You’ve got the power and the padding. I’ve got footwork and finesse. We’re circling again... predators pretending to be prey. You with your heavy breath and wobbling curves, me with the sting in my fists and the spring in my heels. I see the irritation building behind your eyes, like you're a queen whose subjects dared to talk back. Keep getting fuckin’ mad. Mad fighters swing wider, plant heavier, and that’s when I ‘m gonna fuck you up. So I stay light, bouncing on my toes, breathing steady, chin tucked, eyes locked. “C’mon… hit me your majesty!” I taunt.

Lady_Darcy: I snort angrily at your taunt... “C’mon….hit me your majesty!”... It's obvious, you're goading me, wanting me to step in, swing angrily and miss and then you hit me with a hard counterpunch... I let out a growl... It's so hard to resist, you're such an annoying, irritating, little tart, I so want to wipe that grin off your cocky face... but... I again give a snort, roll my fists in front of me and keep circling around you... I can resist... at least for the moment...

Valenzuela: You circle... you resist charging me like a raging mad cow... and I smirk. "Ohhh, she’s learning. Look at that." The Duchess biting down her rage, doing her best not to take the bait. But you’re still breathing heavy, your footwork’s starting to look like a parade float trying to tango. So, I shift gears. I don’t swing big. That’s what you want, a mistake to punish. Instead, I dip my right shoulder like I’m about to launch another body shot, hit those ribs again, eyes laser-locked on your belly... but it’s all theatre. Just a whisper of movement. I step just inside your range, but only enough for me to flick out a snappy jab with my leading left, trying to land my knuckles right across your lips, trying to thread the needle through your guard. Not deep, not heavy, just a kiss of disrespect. Enough to sting, maybe even split that posh little pout of yours.

Lady_Darcy: I admit it, you're annoying, irritating, but... you're not a fool... you're smart enough to fight at a distance, you know the danger of mixing it up with me... your ducking, bobbing, dropping your right shoulder making my attention dart around to follow you, knowing that I can't match your speed, I puff and pant as my eyes dart to follow you, my legs moving steadily, a little ploddingly, as I circle you and then... you make your move... you step in and snap out a left jab at my face... Ha... I sway my hefty body to my left and move my head to the side... as I straighten up, I flash a quick smile at you to say... "Missed me bitch!"... and then as you regain your stance I again circle to my right but open my fists and beckon you with my fingers, inviting you to try and hit me again...

Valenzuela: Alright... alright... the bitch is quicker than I thought. Slipped that jab like it was nothing. She’s cunning too, trying to bait me, using my own reputation against me. She knows I’m a pressure fighter... knows I’ve walked into counters before and paid the price in blood and bruises. Know’s I’m an arrogant little prick! Not this time. Maybe. I keep bouncing, light on my toes, rhythm just unpredictable enough to be annoying. Bobbing side to side, gloves tight to my cheeks, shoulders twitching with false tells. Every now and then, I flash a jab, letting it fall short, pulling my fist back to guard fast, just trying to make you flinch. A flick here. A twitch there. I want you thinking I’m about to make a mistake. Then I drop my lead hand just a little... let my guard open for half a second... just enough to look careless. “C’mon, Duchess,” I purr, lips curling in a smirk, “try and make me regret it…”

Anastasia_the_brawler: "COME ON DARCY BREAK HER FUCKING JAW !!!"

Lady_Darcy: You dance, you bob, you feint jabs at me... I growl under my breath... but keep my composure, I stay circling slowly, almost plodding, rolling my fists... recovering... my face is showing some welts, and my ear is still ringing a bit... but I am getting my senses back... I can hear the frustration in the crowd, imploring me to "BREAK HER FUCKING JAW !!!"... Oh yeah, oh yeah, I really want to do that... you lower your guard and taunt... “C’mon, Duchess, try and make me regret it…” I sigh and then lick my lips as I shake my head from side to side... "Why don't you try and make me regret it you little bitch... cut the dancing about and show me you can go toe to toe with me huh?..." I snarl back at you

Valenzuela: The slight sag in your shoulders… the lazy roll of your wrists… the confidence creeping back onto your face like you think I’m just here to dance for your amusement? You lick your lips and throw that snarl back at me. “Show me you can go toe to toe with me, huh?” I’m betting you’re thinking I won’t go all out. In a blink, I explode off my back foot, no warning at all, not the slightest hint, lunging in like a storm breaking loose, no more games, no more circling. Just fury and fists. My right hook flashes out first, aiming for that same swollen ear I tagged earlier, hoping to make it sing again… trying to curve it around your guard, betting on a sluggish reaction time for you. . Then I drop my weight, twisting into a sharp left uppercut, aiming to dig just at the base of your breast, a punch meant to make that girl bounce, and take the wind out of your sails... I rise with the momentum, snapping a right cross toward your jawline, fist slicing the air, trying to paint that smug face with bruises... And then I fire off a final straight left, no wind-up, no warning, a piston shot meant for the bridge of your nose, trying to blind, distract, and maybe even daze… I don’t stop to see what lands. I’m already resetting my feet, bobbing low, ready to pivot out. Because if even one of those landed clean, I will have rattled your world...

Lady_Darcy: I am shocked, I thought you would just keep dancing and dancing, but instead you lunge forward at me... "Whoa..." I let out a gasp as the action starts, you fire a right hook at the left side of my head... desperately I pull my head away to my right and down, letting your right swish over my head... as I straighten back up you pivot and go for my voluptuous body... UFFFF... I exhale loudly as you slam a left uppercut in just below my left tit, my breast bouncing and my body shaking... I puff and gasp, but I keep my senses about me and as you pivot again I see your right snapping out for a cross and I arch backwards, letting your right swish by in front of me... you look shocked and surprised at the miss... and I can see you shifting again, your left now coming straight at me... I puff for a moment and now rapidly, perhaps desperately, drop my upper body and head to my right to dodge your straight left... as I straighten up you're starting to step back... not watching me, just looking to escape... and now is my chance... you may have landed a hard body shot, but I am... a big bodied, tough, woman... and although the shot hurt, now is my chance to pay you back...

Nathan_gingerbread: Come on ...Nicola you can do this.

Lady_Darcy: I step forward after you, not letting you get any space between us... as you straighten up from bobbing low I hook a left at your taut right ribs... 175lbs of angry bitch behind the fist... let's see if I can break a few of those ribs and then pivot to an overhand right hook down into the left side of your head as you double over... and if that doesn't put you down then, with us both up close and in range... I'll show you how to mix it up, exchanging blows, toe to toe and see how much you can take...

Valenzuela: FUCK IT!!!!!!! ... The bitch moved! My hook slices through empty air. The cross too. Even my straight left, my cleanest punch of the four…..you drop under it like you’ve been doing this your whole life. Wait….maybe she has.. I land the body shot, yeah. I felt that bounce, heard the air fly outta you, but the rest? Nada. And then I see the glint in your eye. That thick-bodied tank of a woman didn’t just survive the storm, your thriving in it. FUCK! I tried to rattle you, and all I did was wake you up. I’m back pedalling, slipping low, trying to slide out… but you’re already there. Closing fast. I catch a blur of movement before BAM!!!!!! Your left hook slams into my ribs, right where my guard was still floating up high. “AGGGHH!” I choke out, pain lancing through my side like a bomb exploded. My feet stumble sideways, but I plant, barely. Then here comes your overhand right hook, and I duck just in time, feel your fist slice over the crown of my head.. My ribs are throbbing, but I've been here before, and I know I gotta duke it out now, toughen up. I gotta take advantage of your missed hook, your arm still swinging, as I raise back up. Now it’s time to get rough and throw a left shovel hook towards that liver and see if it will bounce, and I follow that with a big right uppercut towards the point of that big chin, ignoring the flaming pain in my right side!

Lady_Darcy: My left hook smacks into your ribs with a sickening sound... you squeal in pain... no surprise there... after all I meant that it should hurt. You stumble sideways and I smirk as I fire in my overhand right. You duck under the right and I let out a growl of annoyance. As I start to straighten up you hit back, a shovelling left uppercut into my thick, fleshy, body... Uggg... I grunt as your fist digs in and my flesh ripples... I am stunned for a moment and your right uppercut comes up between us and lands on my chin... Ufff.. my head snaps upwards and rocks backwards, I stumble a step backwards, my ponytail flailing... but as my head rocks back up straight it's now my turn again.. Arrrghh... I grunt like an animal as I hook my left at your ribs again... sooner or later I am gonna break one of them and again with the overhand right at the left side of your head... you can't keep dodging forever and with 175lbs of bitch behind these blows you'll be down on the canvas...

Valenzuela: Your growl’s still rattling the air when CRACK!, my shovel hook thuds home. Felt like punching into a side of beef, but it lands, and the way your body jolts? Worth every fucking ounce of effort. Then the right uppercut comes screaming up, and finally, I see your chin jerk, your head snapping back, and your hair whips around like a flag in a windstorm. Got you! But holy shit, you recover and come roaring right back, all fury and curves and weight. Your fist slams into my ribs again, and this time it feels personal, like your fist’s hunting for a home inside my fucking chest cavity. I scream through clenched teeth, “FUCK!!” and my knees buckle just enough to terrify me. Gonna have to protect these ribs now, but then the overhand is coming. I know this rhythm now, one to the body, one to the head. You're trying to break me in half and knock me out in one combo. I eat the rib shot. I brace, suck in air, so when that overhand comes sailing toward my skull, I launch forward under it. Not retreating this time, no. I drive in, letting your punch skim off my back as I slam my shoulder into your ribs like a rugby player. As I bounce off your big body, I know I only got a split second to box it out with you. From inside, I throw a tight left uppercut toward your right tit, a dirty, low, right under the boob, designed for maximum pain. Then a vicious right straight to your mouth, from point-blank, bareknuckle style. My ribs are screaming, and I need to pull back, so I step back and step off to my right, raising my dukes back up.

Lady_Darcy: My left again crashes into your ribs like I am trying to tenderize a piece of meat... again you squeal... but this time louder... your knees start to buckle and I exhale a grunt of expectation as I pivot to the overhand right, knowing that if it lands those buckling knees will turn into... collapsing... knees. Desperate to avoid the overhand right you dive forward, ramming your shoulder into my ribs in a rugby tackle... Uhh... I let out a grunt as my right swishes over your back... as we both start to straighten up you hook a left uppercut up under my right tit... Arrrgh!... I squeal as my boob bounces up in my top... the second time you've gone for my tits... despite you getting a boob job, you're still jealous!... As I gasp from the pain of the boob shot you sling in a straight right into my pretty face, into my mouth, splitting my lower lip, blood flying out as my head twists... My head rocks back and I see you starting to pull back... oh no you don't, you ain't getting away... I step after you and again... big left hook at those ribs... but this time I follow it with a right uppercut, pulled up between our bodies, aimed at where your chin will be if you double over from the rib shot... my fleshy body, tits, belly and ass, all swaying and wobbling as I lean into both of the punches...

Valenzuela: My fists are doing the talking, and maybe shutting your mouth up, as my right straight splits your lip. Even so, you’re coming at me like a fuckin’ freight train again, but it's the same hook to the ribs! You nailed me twice with that move, I’ve seen it, felt it, suffered it. But this time I read the shift in your hips, the way your shoulder drops... you’re loading up that rib shot like it's your fucking signature move. So I twist hard to my left, and stepping right, sucking my gut in just as your left fist whooshes past, nothing but air this time bitch! As I’m now outside your left guard, that big right uppercut misses my chin very badly. I pivot fast, planting my lead foot and snapping a rear right hook over your left shoulder, wanting to pound that jaw shut, then moving back left I try to dig in and unleash a filthy left shovel hook into that soft belly just under your floating ribs, all knuckles and bad intentions for that spleen region.

Lady_Darcy: I swing both of my punches, left hook and right uppercut, with gusto, my body swaying wildly... but they both miss and I am left flat footed and my guard wide open... you pivot fast and snap out a fast right hook that smacks into the side of my jaw, violently twisting my head to the side, my high ponytail whipping around... blood and saliva splashing out of my mouth, my arms flailing out, my legs wobbling as I stumble... my eyes are blinking and I am dazed as I sway on my legs... as I try to regather my stance and guard you launch a shovelling left hook up into my flabby belly... UFFFFFFF... I exhale loudly as my cheeks puff out and I start to double forward... I have no option but to lunge forward at you, arms outstretched, my head going over your right shoulder, looking to wrap my arms around your shoulders and to clinch on to you... hugging you tightly into my thick body... to stop myself from going down onto my knees...

Valenzuela: My right hook lands flush, taking you unaware, I twisted my core to increase its power, the sound of fist on jaw reverberating around the noisy boxing hall, and my shovel hook gets buried in your belly like a knife. I’m cocking my right back to strike again, but you’re lunging into me like a bear before I can pop off another fist. You’re wrapping your big arms around my shoulders, and I know your reputation as a “pro-wrasslin” diva, maybe a lot of fake stuff there, but some of its real too! The impact of your body is like a freight train, and I have to make a split-second decision, whether to stand here and push back at you, try to bear your weight, and get worn out? NO! Instead I wrap my forearms under your arm pits and rather than push back, I rapidly pull you forward, as you push into me…I figure I might unbalance you if I pull as you push, and if so, I’ll stumble backwards, trying to hook my heels into your outer thighs as I fall back, trying to twist my body and yours as we fall to change our positions. If I can pull off this little wrasslin trick, I’ll slam you onto your back and land on the top position and try to start swinging. Last time I saw “ref” Darcy, he was chatting up Suki, but maybe I’ll get lucky and finish off his beloved….

Nathan_gingerbread: I am watching intently thinking this change from stick and move to a more physical fight will suit Nicola.

Lady_Darcy: I hadn’t expected this match to be an even exchange of blows, I knew that with your speed I’d have to eat a lot of blows from you and counter with a few big shots from me, but you have been relentless, and I can barely lay a fist on you. I was already hurting, dazed in my head, badly bruised in my belly and tits, and your last two blows were devastating. The hook to the jaw had almost left me out on my feet, but I had stayed upright, until the belly shot, which really knocked the wind out of me. I couldn’t think properly, only act on a fighter’s instinct, I was in big trouble, and I needed time, and a clinch was my instinctive move. I latched my big, thick, sweaty, body onto your tautly muscled, sweaty body, getting my head over your shoulder so you couldn’t hit me in the head again, getting my arms around your shoulders so that you couldn’t pull your arms back to pummel me in my bruised body.

Lady_Darcy: It was a good plan, and it seemed to work at first. The thump of my hefty body into yours latched us together, your arms wrapping around my fleshy waist, but then you started moving, falling backwards and hooking one of your legs around my thick thigh, getting your heel into the back of my knee, twisting me, overbalancing me. Suddenly my hefty 175lbs was working against me and we were falling, and with the twisting you were going to land on top of me. UFFF… I exhaled a grunt as my hefty body landed back first on the canvas… SHIT!!... I am in even bigger trouble now, on my back on the canvas with you on top of me… I tighten my grip around your shoulders pressing my head and neck tightly into yours… I know that in this position if you get free of my grip your fists will tear into my face and head, beating me into a senseless, bloody, mess…

Valenzuela: You’ve got me wrapped up like I’m some kind of trophy, head buried in my shoulder, strong and beefy arms wrapped over mine, pulling me down in that thick-body bear hug of yours, keeping me locked in place. No space to punch, no ref stepping in to save either of us… and your weight pressing down on the canvass like a slab of meat with me on top, our sweaty bodies blending together. The guys giving their monthly wage to be in either of our positions. But you made a big mistake chica. I shift my forearms arms back towards me, quickly, and then jam my fingers forward & upward, trying to push them hard and deep under your armpits, into that hot pocket of soft tissue where the real pain lives. Right where the brachial plexus runs thick and vulnerable, a major nerve bundle that shoots down through the arms. You compress it, even slightly, and it’s like lighting a fire in someone’s shoulder, and hit it just right, and it can shut an arm down with numbness. Tingling, singing pain. I dig my thumbs in, working under the slick sweaty skin... I twist and grind my fingers deep like I’m trying to push your soul out through your armpits, the spot where the soul can be damaged ever so quickly.

Lady_Darcy: I cling on to you, trying to buy recovery time, breathing heavily, but you start wriggling around, our body sweat making it easy for you and suddenly.... ARRRGHH... I scream in pain as you shove your fingers into my armpits... letting go of you and pulling my arms away as best I can, pulling my head back off your shoulder, trying to roll my body and turn you off of your dominant position on top of me...

Valenzuela: I hear your scream as my fingers light up your nerve endings under your armpits, and the moment your grip loosens from around my shoulders, I’ve started to move. You’re thick, heavy, and dangerous, and if I stay flat, you’ll twist and buck me off in a heartbeat. I rise up, dragging my weight off your chest just enough to shift. I plant my knees wide, pressing my hips down to pin you, and instead of posting on the canvas, I slide my palms forward, pressing them hard against your shoulders, so I stay inside your guard, palms digging into your shoulders, trying to keep your arms smothered under my control. As you twist, I keep my balance, riding you like a vaquero (cowgirl). I look down at you, blood dripping from your split lip, sweat streaking over both our chests, then I draw my right hand back and let it fly, a bareknuckle hammerfist straight toward your cheekbone. I’ll paint your face purple!

Lord_Darcy: I have remained out of the way, resting in a neutral corner while Valenzuela and my wife have been slugging it out. But things have taken a strange turn, the match has turned from bareknuckle boxing into some form of mixed martial arts with them grappling on the canvas. And Valenzuela is on top. I spring out of my corner and start to head across the ring... "BREAK!!... BREAK!!..." as I yell as I head towards the two women...

Lady_Darcy: There's an agonizing pain in my arms but I have to try and use them to protect my pretty face, you're trying to press me down against the canvas, riding on top of me, pushing me down with your left hand while punching me in the face with your right fist... ARRRGH... ARRRGH... I squeal as each blow lands in my face, a brutal hammer fist to my check, a blow to the nose, another to the mouth... dazed and hurt I struggle to defend myself...

Valenzuela: I hear “BREAK! BREAK!” barked across the ring, Lord Darcy stomping toward us, trying to reassert control, but I don’t give a shit. This ain’t a rules match anymore, this is survival, and I’m not giving up a dominant position for some pompous husband-ref. You’re bucking underneath me, grunting, squealing as my fists crash into your cheek, nose, mouth, painting your face in welts and red streaks. You’re dazed, I can feel it in your twitchy defence, the sloppy way you try to push up from beneath me. So, I double down. My knees widen, hips dropping heavier into your belly to flatten your bridge attempt. “Oh no, baby,” I growl. I drop my left forearm down across your throat, to gain greater control, pinning your head into the canvas, choking off your wind a little, then swing a vicious right hook towards your ear, my tits swinging in tune with each punch.

Mrs_Dei_Squid: Let them fight Ref I scream

Lord_Darcy: As I reach the scene Valenzuela has started choking my wife... "Okay, that's enough... break now!" I yell and reach down, and grab hold of Valenzuela's hair with both hands to pull her back and up off of my wife...

Mrs_Dei_Squid: Thats it protect your wife I thought this was a fair fight?

Valenzuela: I don’t hear the ref. The world is narrowed to the battered mess beneath me, wheezing, bleeding. I’m in the zone, fists loaded with vengeance, ready to keep hammering until there’s nothing left. I don’t even notice him until YANK! My whole-body jerks back as my ponytail’s violently pulled up, the pain lighting up the back of my skull. "WHAT THE FUCK!!!! LET GO OF ME, YOU COCKSUCKER!!" I snarl, my voice raw and animalistic as I’m hauled upward, being dragged like some wayward child. It’s him, Lord Darcy. Trying to play knight in shining armour now that his poor Lady’s face is getting smashed in. He’s strong, overpowering. He wrenches me up, my sweaty body peeling off hers as I resist. As I’m lifted clear and nearly upright, I twist my body violently, and fire back one last gift. A heel stomp towards her ribs as LD pulls me further away.

Lord_Darcy: I get a good grip of that ponytail and pull hard, dragging the Senorita Valenzuela up to her feet... surprisingly she spits out "WHAT THE FUCK!!!! LET GO OF ME, YOU COCKSUCKER!!" instead of something in Spanish, very considerate of her to insult me in English... I drag her away by her ponytail, pointing to the far corner... "Neutral corner... go and stand in the neutral corner!!" I order... I let go of her ponytail and stand to watch carefully that she follows my instruction to go to the neutral corner...

Valenzuela: I'm dragged by the hair by this caveman, to a corner, and he tells me to stay. He thinks I am a dog? My tits are now moving up and down with each breath, and I put my hands on my hips, as I continue to breath hard, but slowly I begin to calm myself. My Latia blood getting the better of me for the moment.

Mrs_Dei_Squid: Jumps up on the apron telling Carla not to let them get to her you have her where you want her then jumps back down

Lord_Darcy: I glare at the Latina spitfire for a moment and then wag my finger at her like a schoolmaster... "Now you stay there missy..." I admonish her... and then, hearing shouting from the ring apron I turn and point down at the floor outside the ring... "And you get down!..." I order

Lady_Darcy: Uhhh... uhhh... I let out some plaintive groans as I lay, flat out on my back, on teh canvas, my arms and legs now spreadeagled out, my head rolling from side to side. As I gasp for air, blood and saliva splurt out of my mouth, my face now bright red and bruised, my cheek swelling up, blood now trickling from my bruised and swelling nose... my eyes glassy, my 38DD chest heaving up and down as I lay there panting, sweating profusely... Uhhh.... uhh... I groan again and try to roll onto my side... it's clearly a struggle, but I make it with some more moaning and then roll further onto my belly and plant my hands on the canvas in an effort to push myself up onto my hands and knees...

Mrs_Dei_Squid: You should be counting ref

Lord_Darcy: I smirk at Mrs Dei and then turn and walk slowly across the ring... when I get to where my wife is on her hands and knees, I start to count... 1........................ 2...................... very slowly...

Valenzuela: "FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!there is 10 seconds between each count!!"

Lady_Darcy: On my hands and knees, my head hanging down, gasping for air I hear my husband returning and starting to count... 1................. 2............... I look up at him, blinking my eyes, taking a deep breath and then start to push up... I wobble and shake as I rise... the count continues.... 3............. 4............ but I get to my feet, swaying on my legs, and pull my fists up in a rough guard...

Lord_Darcy: After my wife is up on her feet, I take my time to check her over... making a play that I am ensuring she is fit to continue... but taking my time in doing it... after a further 10 seconds I turn and wave for Valenzuela to leave her corner... "Okay... fight on!" I yell

Mixtko8910: Good to have high friends in low places..!

Valenzuela: You're up again and I don't know whether to admire it or end it. You're swaying, glassy-eyed, your guard loose and slow. That bruised, busted face still has fight in it, but I’m done dancing. I close the distance fast, my boots slapping the canvas, teeth clenched as I let an overhand right fly, aiming straight for the centre of your guard, trying to crash between your eyes and break whatever willpower you’ve got left. Without slowing, I twist in close and rip a left shovel hook up toward your liver, a gut-deep body shot meant to dig under your ribs and leave you folding. I stay low, tense, circling to my right with fists up, ready to follow up.

Lady_Darcy: As I wobble and shake on my legs you come bounding across the ring, eager to finish the match, all aggression and attack. You loose off an overhand right and... I quickly sway to my right to let it swish past my bruised and bloody head... you're clearly focused on one thing, that you're going to finish me, you pivot and twist to a body shot, a shovelling left uppercut towards my liver... I twist my thick fleshy body to my left and take the shot on my ribs... Uggg... I grunt because it does hurt, but it's not the knockout liver shot you had intended... you're staying close to me, still thinking of finishing me... not thinking at all... one of those good old "pro-wrasslin" tricks,... playing possum... the count took so long I could get some good recovery in and now... you're up close and in range of my... haymakers... since you are staying low I send an overhand right looping down at your forehead, then twist and hook a left at the right side of your head and then... just for good measure... kick out with my right leg and boot, aiming for dead centre between the top of your legs...

Valenzuela: That shovel hook should’ve done it, I felt it land, felt your ribs buckle, but not the way I wanted. And I’m so focused on pressing in, on ending this, that I barely register the shift in your body until it’s too late. CRACK!!! Your overhand right slams into my forehead like a hammer... My vision flares white, my head jerking back from the impact. Then your left hook crashes into the side of my skull, and now I’m stumbling sideways, the crowd going from a hum to a roar as my knees give a little. I’m still upright, but my world just got rocked……A what the fuck look on my face. And then FUCK! Your boot slams up between my thighs, a dirty, brutal move. My eyes go wide, mouth open in a breathless scream as my hands instinctively shoot downward, body locking up from the surge of electric, white-hot pain that rips upward through my body. I’m frozen for a heartbeat, doubled slightly, stunned. I stumble backward two shaky steps, trying to reset my feet. My fists float up, clumsy, half-guarded, teeth clenched through the agony.

Mrs_Dei_Squid: Ref that was a low blow call the fight right now!

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: Poor Carla

Lady_Darcy: "Gotcha!" I squeal as you stumble backwards from my onslaught. I have been taking a beating and the taste of giving you some payback is re-invigoration in itself... and the low blow kick, well, you were quite happy bending the rules, you surely knew I am no angel in such matters... there you are, doubled over, stunned, in front of me... I snort and snarl, an expression of viciousness on my bloody and bruised face, I twist my fleshy body around and lean it behind a left uppercut at your jaw as you try to form a loose guard in front of your head... my body, tits, belly and ass, sways to my right from the blow and then pivots back as a hurl a right hook at where your head might now be if I connected with my left uppercut...

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: Oh she gone knock dat head clean off

Valenzuela: YOU KICKED ME IN THE PUSSY! I stare in disbelief as stay stunned in pain, my head is buzzing, and my pussy is throbbing, my knees knock together, my breasts are heaving up and down with each breath, slick with sweat, droplets dripping off them. I hear Dei call out to call the fight…. I need some time to get my wits back together as my reflexes are down……but you got other plans….A left uppercut rips between my loose guard, SMASHING into my guard, and I go flying backwards into the ropes, which keep me from falling over, but the right hook swings in front of my face, because of my backwards movement…..my legs spread apart and I’m wobbling like a drunk, glassy eyed, fists dropping to my sides….

Lady_Darcy: I may have played possum but that doesn't mean I wasn't hurt by the earlier exchanges, and that I am not tired from the exertions of the fight... I am puffing, gasping, panting, sweating profusely, and... bleeding... the connection of my left uppercut felt good, seeing it knocking you backwards into the ropes... but my big right missed and I stumble... still you don't look like you're going to be running away too quickly, hanging there on the ropes with your legs spread and your fists down... I take a moment to gather myself, pulling my guard up, taking a deep breath and stumbling my hefty body into position in front of you as you lean on the ropes... no sophistication, no fancy plan, I just plan to punch your lights out... a straight right aimed at your chin intended to knock your head back, a left hook aimed for your jaw and then if you're still standing, the coup de grace... leaning into you and sending my left knee up between your legs, my thick thigh and hefty body behind the blow...

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: Damn Darcy's best shot be the low blow

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I think the ref needs glasses a blind person can see that big leg kicking

Valenzuela: I fell for your trick, thinking you was whooped, and instead it’s me who is getting their ass whooped. I wanted to win so badly……but here I stand, a walking KO….only the ropes are keeping me erect…..my guard down, ….My vision blurs out after the uppercut that sent me into the ropes, and then my vision comes back, but all I see is a straight right shoot out, pounding into my chin, knocking my head back and then a left hook smears across my face, twisting my face left……ugggg….my mouth guard bouncing across the ring as it pops out...a big knee slams between my legs….and that’s it…..my knees buckle, and I fall face first in the canvass, my tits pushing in the cold canvass hard as I collapse, moaning softly. …..Lady Darcy, clutching victory after near defeat, with considerable help from Lord Darcy! Yeah, the Darcys are back……

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I jump in the ring shoving Lord Darcy to the side let a real ref step in I grab Lady Darcy and shove her towards a neutral corner that was two low blows from you

Lady_Darcy: I step back from my onslaught, the two blows to the head left you pretty much out on your feet and the knee shot... well that was just gratuitous, payback for the beating you gave me earlier on... I step back and you just crumble, your legs buckling and you collapse, face tits and belly down on the canvas... as I stand over you, admiring my handiwork I am roughly shoved into the corner... "WHAT??" I squeal... but then I see it is Mrs Dei not my husband who pushed me away... I chuckle, my face may be bruised and bloody, but I'm the winner... Gloatingly I call out at Mrs Dei... "She ain't gettin' up!... Senorita slapper is done!..."

Lady_Darcy: Then as I lean back in the corner, I show my fist to Suki... "And I am gonna do the same to you bitch!"

Mrs_Dei_Squid: Take your moment while you can you have me next and your hubby will be no help he will be chained up at ring side and there will be no rules

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: Hush tubby I cleaned your clock twice now, next time I won't go easy.

Lord_Darcy: After being pushed out of the way I make my way around Mrs Dei, and I kneel down beside Valenzuela to make sure that she is out cold... I look her over and then call out "Medics... get her some help!" before I stand up and again go around Mrs Dei to my wife’s corner and take her arm and raise it into the air... "THE WINNER" I yell and then look at Mrs... "Let's talk contract terms!" I sneer at her...

Mrs_Dei_Squid: You come up with what your wife needs to face me then we will talk

Suki_Sweet_wife_of_Dei: Snap her like a string bean love, beat her like a rented mule!

Mrs_Dei_Squid: I will love

Published: 2025-03-27, viewed 92 times.