Women’s Martial Arts Championship

Cali_the_Queen: since i’m a yellow belt you will call the coin flip

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: Tails :)

Cali_the_Queen: !coin
Flip the coin.... tails!

Cali_the_Queen: you go first! feel free to make an intro

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !set head 25
@KirstenTheKnockoutPolk's HEAD is set to 25 / 25

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !set body 30
@KirstenTheKnockoutPolk's BODY is set to 30 / 30

Cali_the_Queen: !set body 40
@Cali_the_Queen's BODY is set to 40 / 40

Cali_the_Queen: !set head 30
@Cali_the_Queen's HEAD is set to 30 / 30

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: I finished lacing up a pair of shiny red boxing gloves to go along with my skimpy brown bikini that I would be donning for my upcoming match.. I was eager to make my debut in the kickboxing scene as I shadowboxed in the mirror for a bit, until one of the staff came in and told me they were ready for me to make my entrance. I emerged from my locker room to the brightly lit main area of the strip club where a ring was set up smack-dab in the middle for me.. the drunken, rowdy crowd of mostly men cheering me on, throwing a few dollar bills at my feet as I made my way down.. swaying my hips in an exaggerated motion to please the crowd before hoisting myself up the apron, slipping into my corner.. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our first fighter.. in the red corner, standing at 5’2” and weighing 133Ibs, give it ip for Kirstennnnn POLKKK!!” The guys egging me on as I pounded my gloves in excitement, waiting for my opponent to arrive.

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk:

Cali_the_Queen: I had lost my first fight in WMAC and now I was desperate to make a comeback. So desperate that I was fighting some girl in a stripclub bikini kickboxing match. I laced up my gloves in the back when a staff member came out and told me it was time to fight. I walked out to neon lights and obnoxious music, wearing white and red lingerie with white gloves and matching shin guards. The crowd whistled and cheered as my bouncy frame made it to the ring. “And her opponent, at 5’6 132, quuuuueeeen Caliii!” I gave a mock bow to the crowd before slipping into the ring and warming up. “Ready to get dropped slut?”

Cali_the_Queen:

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: I watched as my curvy opponent made her way into the corner opposite of mine, voluptuous frame rubbing against the ropes. “I’ll drop you just like your first fight bitch!” I taunt back.. clearly they were giving anybody the title of queen nowadays, ready to take it for myself as I get my gloves up to my chin/chest area.. DING DING! The bell rang as we both made our way towards the middle, meeting up and circling momentarily.. I decide to take initiative, snapping a quick left jab towards your midsection to land something simple or atleast drop your guard, seeing if I could sneak in a follow up right cross aimed for your nose!

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !quick body
My quick move connected and did ☒ 3 + ☒ 2 = 5 damage. BODY down to 35.

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !punch head
My punch connected and did ⚀ 1 + ⚁ 2 = 3 damage. HEAD down to 27.

Cali_the_Queen: “First fight was a fluke, this is my redemption!” I raise my guard and march towards you, ready to get into the action. The crowd roared as the bell rung and I was determined to make you snore in front of this whole club. WAP WAP! You throw a quick one two, smacking my midsection with a jab and hitting me with a glancing cross making me stagger and grunt softly but I don’t back down. I pivot to the side and throw a roundhouse for your ribs, my big legs coiling up and firing at you like a canon. After following through i’d swing back the other way and throw a crescent kick to your chin!

Cali_the_Queen: !kick body
My kick connected and did ⚄ 5 + ⚃ 4 = 9 damage. BODY down to 21.

Cali_the_Queen: !kick head
My kick missed.

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: I felt the adrenaline rush as both of my punches landed swiftly to your body and head respectively, getting a good mix of both to start the match. You weren’t deterred in the slightest though, quickly shaking it off as you decide to press me HARD with a pair of kicks.. a roundhouse kick digging into my ribs as I grunt from the hit.. UNGGG!! Damn did that hurt, my rookie defense showing as you made quick work of my ribs.. the sam couldn’t be said for my head thankfully as I managed to duck my head down just in time to prevent taking another heavy kick. I needed to reassert myself fast, deciding to try setting you up as I step in, aiming a swift right jab towards your lower belly.. seeing if you’d drop your guard and let me fire back a roundhouse kick of my own to your head!

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !quick body
My quick move connected and did ☒ 3 + ☒ 2 = 5 damage. BODY down to 30.

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !kick head
My kick connected and did ⚃ 4 + ⚁ 2 = 6 damage. HEAD down to 21.

Cali_the_Queen: I’m grinning now seeing my kick cut into your ribs like i’m cutting down a tree. A couple more of those and it would be over! You come springing out after dodging my head kick and jab me right in my lower tummy, making contact with a wet smack and making me drop my guard as you predicted. You lift your leg real high and kick into the side of my head, dazing me for just a moment. A stumble to the side a step and quickly shake it out, stepping in close to try and prevent more kicks from you. I cock my arm back slightly and fire two rapid jabs towards your face, checking your guard and trying to eliminate your advantage.

Cali_the_Queen: !quick head
My quick move connected and did ☒ 3 + ☒ 1 = 4 damage. HEAD down to 21.

Cali_the_Queen: !quick head
My quick move connected and did ☒ 2 + ☒ 2 = 4 damage. HEAD down to 17.

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: Defense had been a bit of a myth during our match as we both opted to eat punches and kicks in an all out slugfest.. that trend continued to ring true as I stepped forward, trying to press you harder as my kick had left you a little dazed. You had another idea in mind as my recklessness meant you were able to catch me with a stinging combo of jabs to my head.. POP! POP! Feeling the power course through your arms as even just a few jabs left me a little dazed.. trying to shake out the cobwebs and reset my momentum, shooting a teep kick out to your belly, feeling that you were gonna try taking advantage of my stunned state and deciding to give it back. I double up on the body punishment, seeing if I could eek out a followup roundhouse to your ribs!

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !quick body
My quick move connected and did ☒ 2 + ☒ 1 = 3 damage. BODY down to 27.

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !kick body
My kick connected and did ⚅ 6 + ⚂ 3 = 9 damage. BODY down to 18.

Cali_the_Queen: One moment i’m pressing the attack another your foot is ramming into my pudgy stomach and forcing me away with a teep I left unchecked which sent me stumbling backward. Before I can push forward again…PLAP! You crush my midsection with a surprise roundhouse, the full weight of your body practically piercing through my torso and making me keel over, coughing up a string of saliva. “Ungh…fuck..!” I needed a breather, I needed to get away. But that would leave you with the advantage! I power through the pain and twist forward throwing a close range uppercut towards your stomach, trying to trade for the roundhouse you had just crushed me with!

Cali_the_Queen:

Cali_the_Queen: !punch body
My punch missed.

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: The crowd cheered me on in their drunken state as my leg slammed right into my opponents ribs.. leaving her reeling as she looked like she was struggling to keep up with me. I seemed to be proven right as she tried to trade with me, an uppercut looking to dig into my toned tummy. No dice as I bring my gloves down just in time for me to let my gloves and forearms take the brunt of the punch.. I smelled blood in the water as I knew I had a golden opportunity to punish you. I go for broke as I send a heavy left hook destined for your cheek, hoping your guard doesn’t retract back in time to block it. I was just getting started though, a nasty right uppercut in store for your chin as I generate plenty of power into it, shooting it up and hoping for the best!

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !punch head
My punch connected and did ⚂ 3 + ⚅ 6 = 9 damage. HEAD down to 12.

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !punch head
My punch connected and did ⚂ 3 + ⚄ 5 = 8 damage. HEAD down to 4.

Cali_the_Queen: It was all falling apart, my last ditch gambit failed as you easily blocked my uppercut. I was left looking like an idiot, my face flushing red with embarrassment. I couldn’t move my arms in time to block my face and…SMACK…CRACK! A hook nails my cheek making my head snap to the side. Before I can recover another punch rocks my chin, launching a wave of spittle into the air and generating cheers and laughs from the audience. I stumbled backwards, landing against the ropes with a punch-drunk crosseyed expression on my face. “Unfh…muh…” I panted, trying to force my body to move.

Cali_the_Queen: !recover head
You recover ⚅ 6 + ⚀ 1 = 7 damage. HEAD up to 11.

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: I couldn’t have imagined a better outcome as your guard completely diminished, letting me wreak havoc on your head as two deadly punches left you barely able to stand up.. I was ready to put this bout out of reach for you as I marched forward until I met with you, dangling on the ropes by a thread. I was in prime position to keep swinging hard and fast, pressing my luck with a deadly pair of hooks.. a left to your cheek and right to your temple respectively.

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !punch head
My punch connected and did ⚂ 3 + ⚁ 2 = 5 damage. HEAD down to 6.

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: !punch head
My punch connected and did ⚀ 1 + ⚅ 6 = 7 damage. HEAD down to -1.

Cali_the_Queen: One moment i’m about to recover…the next i’m counting sheep. Hook after hook slams my head to either direction and after the final right to the temple everything is blank. My mouth guard popped free and skid across the makeshift ring into the opposite corner, my crossed eyes rolled all the way back, my jaw hung slack with a gross amount of foamy saliva leaking out. The hit had knocked me out so suddenly that my body folded forward, suddenly shutting down with no further influence. I would’ve hit the ground but my bubble butt was firmly wedged between the ropes still, leaving me in an awkward half standing half dangling position, completely limp and slack in every way. The crowd was ecstatic and a count sounded despite how pointless it was. I was clearly out cold. 1…2…3…4…5…6…

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: I put on an absolute clinic to end the fight, your head bobbling back and forth every which way, going wherever I dictated it to with my gloves till it finally couldn’t take any more. You didn’t just fall to the canvas, instead your body limply hanging off the ropes with your ass sitting between the ropes, giving the crowd a great show as they cheered heavily for me! I hyped them up, knowing that their real queen had arrived now as they counted you out.. not that it mattered, you showed no signs of life. “7..8…9..10!! KNOCKOUT!!” DING DING DING DING! The bell rung as my victory was set in stone, going over to my corner and jumping onto the top ropes, raising my arms in a victorious stance!

KirstenTheKnockoutPolk: (End?)

Cali_the_Queen: (end! good fight :3)